Life in the temperate zone...

[JeffGu]

That's ok. I believe that connoisseur is a French misspelling of conned into the sewer and most high dollar imports taste like somebody threw a loaf of 9-grain bread into a blender with some cooking sherry and anal sludge. Spiced rum, on the other hand, is the fuggin' Nectar of the Gods in anything resembling cola.

Cheesy Poofs are worth arm-wrestling for. I can't be held responsible for any knife wounds you receive.

 

[JD3000]

Especially the hot ones with the little devil on the bag.

Avoid green bottled beer in general.

Spiced rum in hot apple cider for tailgating too.

 

[JeffGu]

Spiced rum in root beer, too. Not so good on corn flakes, though. Maybe raisin bran...

 

[JD3000]

Soak your banana slices in it first, THEN put on the cereal.

 

[JeffGu]

Makes that hair of the dog that bit you sound like health food! I like it!

 

[JD3000]

Rum-pickled-bananas are good. Just dont soak too long or the banana flavor is lost.

Had some pineapple soaked in Finlandia at a campus bar many moons ago.
Barkeep asked "you sure? Things have been in there for a while man."

Should have listened. Tasted like over-priced rubbing alcohol, or Finlandia as it's commonly sold. Strong as hell though.

 

[JD3000]

Hope all is well ya'll.

 

[JeffGu]

Well, we have a couple of days of ice storms coming, to compliment the snow and miserable cold temperatures... which means more trees down, which means I have to get all the chainsaws into the garage and refeuled... and it's not a heated garage, mind you, and I'll have to clean roughly a ton of my crap out of the way so I can get in there...

I need to find a nice tropical island to live on. Lizards and giant crabs are ok, but no humans.

 

[JD3000]

Tree nymphs reject palms. Choose wisely.

Prob have some ice here tonight too. Hot damn.

 

[JeffGu]

I was thinking a nice Baobab tree and a solar powered hot tub... built in wet bar... for attracting the Tree Nymphos. Wouldn't want to exclude them from my tropical paradise.

 

[JD3000]

 

[JeffGu]

That's deep, bro... I very nearly cried, looking at it.

 

[JD3000]

Life is one solid kick to the sack afer another. Take this dry winter air. Its making my skin fall off dry and itchy. Aint no fun. Finally found a lotion that helps for the winter.

 

[JeffGu]

Your expertise in all matters involving rubbing things with hand lotion never ceases to amaze and appall me.

 

[JD3000]

I cant be faulted for wanting skin that's smooth and touchable can I?

Put the lotion in the basket.

 

[JD3000]

We avoided the ice, stayed as rain today.

Hows the rest of the Temperate Zone?

 

[JeffGu]

Our nasty ice storm is supposed to hit here tomorrow. It is currently pissing off pigfarmers in Kansas, which doesn't trouble me very much.
My brother, the one that lives in Texas, called me just to rub my nose in it. He's a prick.

 

[JD3000]

Yes but he's surrounded by other Texans.

 

[JD3000]

Look at the crap going on up at Lake Michigan. Basketball sized balls of ice crashing into everything.

Ann Arbor isn't on the coast is it?

 

[JeffGu]

Straight west of Detroit on I-94 the last time I went through it. Of course, being surrounded by huge lakes, shit for weather is pretty much the norm.
Still, giant balls of ice falling out of the sky is cool. Time to make aluminum foil hats.