Life in the temperate zone...
- Thread starter JeffGu
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JeffGu
Been here much more than a while
- Location
- Osceola, Nebraska
@JD3000 once wrote an entire 43-page essay on the use of connifers and their fruits/branches during felching sessions, and the proper choice of suitable rodents. He's quite the expert on a variety of interesting and nauseating subjects. It's one of his better qualities, actually.
That paper covered a diverse range of subjects pertaining to conifer-based products and various forms of human interaction.
For example, sap runs/pitch exudates produced by a conifer tree's response to lepidopterous borer infestation such as Zimmerman pine moth and the pitch mass borer showed great promise in some circles. It was shown to be a desirable addition to docking maneuvers and the Furry community was a big fan for mostly undisclosed reasons. Details were a littly fuzzy regarding the use.
For example, sap runs/pitch exudates produced by a conifer tree's response to lepidopterous borer infestation such as Zimmerman pine moth and the pitch mass borer showed great promise in some circles. It was shown to be a desirable addition to docking maneuvers and the Furry community was a big fan for mostly undisclosed reasons. Details were a littly fuzzy regarding the use.
JeffGu
Been here much more than a while
- Location
- Osceola, Nebraska
See what I mean? Who the hell else would have made a correlation between the risks of lepidopterous borer infestation and using hand crafted, wooden "utensils" during the undisclosed activities he speaks of... and of which I am extremely suspicious... and desirous of video-based evidence.
Next paper, still in the peer review process, will investigate further the previously mentioned topics. Infiltration of the community couldnt have been done without the guidance and direct support of Mr. JeffGu.
Funding this project required some creative revenue producing projects done mainly in section 8 housing in Nebraska as well as the subsequent entrenched and secretive Furry population.
Funding this project required some creative revenue producing projects done mainly in section 8 housing in Nebraska as well as the subsequent entrenched and secretive Furry population.
JeffGu
Been here much more than a while
- Location
- Osceola, Nebraska
I thought we weren't going to discuss those projects until we heard back from the folks at YouPorn.com? And, there's still that small matter of settling up with that motel and their silly damage claims. I'm pretty sure that bathtub was already broken.
@TimBr needs a heads up, though... guys as nice as he is online are usually serial killers or mass murderers or possibly just heavily into beastiality... but, he might be the exception. So, Tim... don't buy that Happy-Crappy Koolaid that @JD3000 is selling... it's been heavily laced with confusion, misdirection, sarcasm, inuendo and quite possibly some date rape drugs. It's clearly meant to disguise his true intentions... a cheap date, free beer, and a life partner with serious BDSM tendencies. Don't drink from that hippy, metrosexual, poisoned bucket of slop. Stick with good ol' watered down American light beer and a healthy dosage of cynicism. That guy is the "wrong kind of people" that your mama warned you about. I mean, really! Just look at that avatar. There are subliminal messages in there.
No worries Jeff, I did a backroom settlement with the Lincoln Days Inn manager just the other day. He gladly accepted a beer growler full of loose change, a, ahem....fully functional golf cart, and a semi lucid "wood nymph" (either a doped up Ukrainian hooker or a confused Lincoln coed, not too sure) as payment for damages in the room.
JeffGu
Been here much more than a while
- Location
- Osceola, Nebraska
Most excellent! I'm still not sure she's Ukrainian... I don't remember an accent. Then again, I don't remember where I left my pants, either.
JeffGu
Been here much more than a while
- Location
- Osceola, Nebraska
Oh, that... had to put a padlock on the closet. Far too many skeletons in there to risk leaving it unlocked.
JeffGu
Been here much more than a while
- Location
- Osceola, Nebraska
It's cuneiform. I'm a little slow to catch on to these newfangled, hippy alphabets.
JeffGu
Been here much more than a while
- Location
- Osceola, Nebraska
You, sir, are prone to exaggeration. I, on the other hand, am the voice of sanity. Or, so I've heard. Somewhere. Another thread, perhaps.
I can assure you that the contents of that closet, however interesting they might be to Torquemada and @Tom Dunlap, would not cause or accelerate the end of mankind.
You can safely blame all that on whoever is guilty of crawling through the back alleys of Moral Bankruptcy and opening up the Trumpster Dumpster of Doom.
I do have, however, a prototype of the Anal Probulator that was given to me by the aliens during the last abduction. It would probably be best if that thing didn't get dragged out and put on display around this crowd of Shiny Object Worshippers.
JeffGu
Been here much more than a while
- Location
- Osceola, Nebraska
I have a great pic that I would love to post... but my arch nemesis, @Tom Dunlap wouldn't approve, and I hate getting those "banned for life" emails.
I've often wondered, though... which of the following is the most likely to be true? All higher intelligence, extraterrestrial lifeforms are anal retentives, or all Georgia hillbillies claiming to have been abducted and probulated are anal retentives? Or is it just old, has-been, burned out science fiction writers like Whitley Strieber that are so desperate for attention that the aliens feel sorry for them, and actually abduct them and probulate them to give new meaning to their lives? Inquiring minds want to know!
I've often wondered, though... which of the following is the most likely to be true? All higher intelligence, extraterrestrial lifeforms are anal retentives, or all Georgia hillbillies claiming to have been abducted and probulated are anal retentives? Or is it just old, has-been, burned out science fiction writers like Whitley Strieber that are so desperate for attention that the aliens feel sorry for them, and actually abduct them and probulate them to give new meaning to their lives? Inquiring minds want to know!
I've been walking around for a day or so saying "Probulator. PROBULATOR!!!"
in the Dan Akroyd Conehead voice. Wife thinks I'm disturbed.
Here's a fun one to try. When you know the Mormons, Jehovahs, or whoever are going door to door in your neighborhood, open the door unkempt with a maniacal look on your face and growl "Have you heard? DAYS OF DARKNESS ARE NYE! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Made my day.
in the Dan Akroyd Conehead voice. Wife thinks I'm disturbed.
Here's a fun one to try. When you know the Mormons, Jehovahs, or whoever are going door to door in your neighborhood, open the door unkempt with a maniacal look on your face and growl "Have you heard? DAYS OF DARKNESS ARE NYE! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Made my day.
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Your wife is probably right. She is probably having trouble deciding whether to call a psych hospital to have you committed or a divorce lawyer and just get rid of you.
