Life in the temperate zone...

If I rode on a plane where the passengers were dressed as animals and seemed angry, I think I'd ask for a parachute and for the pilot to slow the plane down, drop altitude, and let me off at the next third world nation we fly over.
 
I would be chattin that dude up. Buy that cat a bowl of milk and be like "Soooooo...
What's....what's goin on here buddy? Fill me in."
Really try to pick that peanut between his ears. I'd have a field day with that weirdo.
 
He was clearly unapproachable. Had no interest in humans. And yes that's mine. Actually my arm. I'm a man. I have hair. I'm not a manscaping hipster. It's actually useful. It gets all matted with pine sap and I don't get it on my skin. Then I just rip it out. I shave and by 10 could shave again. I also grow a sweet beard! If you talk sweet to me you can braid my back hair. It's called a bio sweater
 
Steve Connally said:
He was clearly unapproachable. Had no interest in humans. And yes that's mine. Actually my arm. I'm a man. I have hair. I'm not a manscaping hipster. It's actually useful. It gets all matted with pine sap and I don't get it on my skin. Then I just rip it out. I shave and by 10 could shave again. I also grow a sweet beard! If you talk sweet to me you can braid my back hair. It's called a bio sweater
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Oooooohhhhhh braiding back hair....we can trade off! I'm a hairy beast and most definitely not a hipster. I did make a mistake -not a leg, an arm (explains the excess hair) You seem a little touchy today Steve!?
 
Steve Connally said:
Yeah. I'm watching you to make sure you didnt get any of that shit Jeff puts in his victims drinks. I will not be drugged and taken advantage of. Nor will I allow you to make any impressions of any part of me with mashed potatoes or peanut butter.
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Hahahahahahaha!!!!!Ur a sick bastard! An everyone thought it was just me and Jeff! I can't wait to drug you and take advantage of you......I mean um.....err...treat you to a cold beer....yeah, that's what I meant.....
 
Ya ever run up to the corner store to get cigs and beer in a hurry so you can get back and catch the rest of the game?
Thats when all the pre diabetic malnurished tubs of goo are in line to get two liters of cherry Pepsi and individually cellophane wrapped M&M cookies.
Hey Tubby Boots! I see you struggling to get that Costanza wallet out of those overworked and likely shit stained sweat pants but could we pick up the damn pace a little? But he's not done. Oh hell no. Now he wants lottery. And not just any lottery. Pick 3's. Pick 4's. And he wants to play all his own numbers seventeen different ways from the deepest caverns of his pork rind saturated mind. New kid behind the counter has no idea what he's doing, Tubby Boots is giving him a hard time for not knowing how to run the super computer that is a lottery, machine, and the manager is too busy on her cell phone picking her crack and then eating pizza combos right after with the same hand.

Tribe still winning when I get home and take a beer to the face.
Rant. And. Rave.
 
And as if the crowd at the Stop N' Rob ain't bad enough... if you happen to need something from Walfart then you have to repeat the whole shebang over again, except instead of teenybopper 4th grade dropouts behind the register, they got some skanky, old, withered truckstop hooker they dragged out of an old folks home just so she could work 30 hours a week annoying the living shit out of people who can't actually stand the smell of Walfart customers. I could teach a fucking tree sloth to operate a cash register faster than these museum exhibits they hire.
 
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