Life in the temperate zone...

Well, if you hadn't played at least a small part in the slaughtering of countless wood nymphs...

Oh well. What's done is done. The only thing we can do is move on. Your book writing for instance, there's a positive way to focus all that negative and borderline psychotic energy into producing thinly-masked smut in print form under pseudonyms. Bravo sir, bravo.
 
Hey, if thinly veiled smut passing itself off as "teen fiction" is what sells, then who am I to judge? A buck is a buck.

Pentecostal Priscilla Meets Peter Peeniz in a Particularly Pornographic Parody of Puberty

Nah, too long.

Golden Showers in the Locker Room and Other Short Stories

No, no.

If I could get the right title/theme, the narrative is just mindless drivel and stringing enough vulgarities into a sentence with lots of colorful adjectives.
This is a cushy job.
 
I think Love in the Temperate Zone had a nice ring to it. The fallen ice cream cone in the beach sand was a nice sinister touch to the dust jacket cover artwork too.
 
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I've actually wondered about this.

How many people wander over here only to say "Oh dear Lord...what is this horrid conglomeration of offal?"

But then I just wondered about the "normal" folks who keep tabs on this flaming dumpster fire of clown shoes and discarded irregular Hello Kitty doll parts.

Just curious, that's all.
 
I think he has something more along the lines of that control room when they would launch the space shuttle missions.

"BLAP! BLAP! BLAP! Warning! Perverts detected in Sector 3, Rant & Rave Forum! Initiating DEFCON 4 status!"
 
So, I was on a website today... something called NoLongerAvailableOutOfStockTreeStuff.com or something... and I've come to the conclusion that they have morphed into a place where the stuff in the email flyers you receive is actually stuff that they don't have. Sheer brilliance! I mean, knocking stuff down in price and offering big discounts is great for the customer, but it just doesn't give you the instant gratification that a price that's marked UP from MSRP gives you. Or, even the cheap thrill of putting ground glass and sand in the Vaseline before they click the Assume The Position (shopping cart) button.

But... now, get this... if you only discount stuff that you don't actually have, the bottom line doesn't suffer that immediate hit. Also, as the customer gets bored with all those Out Of Stock and No Longer Available notices in the price box, you don't have to worry about all that hassle of reordering stuff, dealing with customers, going to work every day, stressing about job security or a pension plan. As your negative give-a-shit factor rubs off on the customers, the pesky bastards start wandering off to other sites.

Another trend I've noticed these days, is that habit of various Arborist Toy Store sites to have these killer good promotional sales, like a gazillion percent off the shit that I just happen to want/need/covet real bad... but ONLY when my bank account has a balance of three dollars or less! By the time I can weasle some moola into the account, that sale is history and the only thing that is discounted on that site is a titty pink T-shirt that says, "I LIKE BIG WOOD" on the front and "EMERALD ASS BORER" on the back. And you can be sure that those were all bought up by... er, I better not say.

;) @JD3000

So, is the dreaded End Of Days that was foretold by the clairvoyants of SherrillTree mergers/buyouts arrived? Is the proverbial shit heading for Hell in a hand basket?
The timing couldn't possibly be worse for those who drank the Kool-Aid of Confidence offered up by the optimistic, nor for the perveyors of corporate doom, as far as that goes. Who, exactly, wins when a perrenial favorite of so many people changes horses midstream and heads straight for the Dark Side?

I hate to admit it, but I'm beginning to think that something has brought a foul odor to the Garden of Eden.
 
@JeffGu; That was a brilliant piece of satirical writing.

@bonner1040; Are you catching any of this? JeffGu seems like the canary in the mine, to me. If he feels strongly enough about the situation to write up such a great post, you can bet that there are many others that feel the same way, but just don't bother. They just walk out the door and don't come back.

JeffGu is doing you a great service by sharing his experiences with you. It provides the opportunity to make changes before it's too late. Unless you're being prevented from doing so, of course.

Thanks for listening.

Tim
 
So...is he "madder than hell and not gonna take it anymore" or just the Mad Hatter amped up on Faygo and Funyuns?

I'll leave that up to you Perpetual Reader, I for one will be watching to see what happens next.

I love it when a plan comes together...
 
Bags of trinkets and toys from Oriental Trading, Ukrainian amputee erotica collection, ant farms, gopher watching kit, Jim Beam...
 
What? Are you trying to infer that Jim Beam is a luxury item, and not a legitimate business expense?
You're talkin' crazy shit, now.

I'll admit that the gopher watching kit was an impulse buy. I really wanted those Soviet Surplus infrared night vision goggles.
 
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