Happy Hooker

[Pelorus]

. (ubiquitous terrapin)

This morbid (2 yrs deceased) sugar maple encountered both my Nieman Marcus ISC block AND the Happy Hooker today. And a decrepit arborist.
(a shameless plug for my personal Hooker)



(edit: thought of posting this in work photo thread, but the kangaroo scrotum inquiries are quite intriguing)

 

[JD3000]

Are marsupial balls integral to Happy Hooker operations or can I get by with one or the other?

 

[Pelorus]

One ball is a necessity. Two are a luxury.
marsupial or otherwise.

 

[Pelorus]

Appreciate your questions, JD3000.
In an effort to impart greater understanding of these ponderous, er, pendulous matters, please examine the following photo.
On the left is a typical, run-of-the-mill Hooker. On the right, is a Retriever (who has two (2) balls. Big balls).
With some effort, the Retriever could become a Hooker. Just use your imagination, like that Jeff Gu guy does.

 

[JD3000]

If the Hooker is easily and efficiently disenfected via say, a bleach spray or portable torch, and the Retriever is easily disengaged from the Hooker upon chance entanglements, I would say that you're really onto something here.

 

[Pelorus]

I hope so. I have a lotta time and effort in these hookers.

 

[JD3000]

Of course obstacles such as very tight crotches and mammalous growths such as burls should be avoided with such implements.

 

[JD3000]

Although in retrospect and hindsight, if your Retriever was properly lubricated beforehand, a vigorous back and forth motion would eventually release the shaft from a tight crotch or two large rounded burls.

 

[JeffGu]

I'm sure that somewhere amongst all the bleach douches for hookers and lubricated balls, there's a topic that got lost in the shuffle. I think. Maybe.

 

[JD3000]

Shoot Jeff, you really want to be spreading a particularly virulent stain of Pseudomonas all over Hell and tarnation?
No sir you dont! Proper hygiene and tool maintenance is absolutely necessary when handling one's Happy Hooker and Two Ball Retriever.

 

[JD3000]

The best pair of cleats I ever had were Puma K, which are of course made from Kangaroo leather. Strong, supple, and long lasting. Perhaps kangaroo scrotal leather would make an optimal carrying case for these tools.