Fu*%face Von Clownstick

[evo]

EAB doesn't care who is president

Last summer I got super depressed, basically not suicidal but equal and different kind of depressed as I was choking on wildfire smoke for months, for the fourth year in a row. Politics, family, social woes and the such very heavy on my mind. I was climbing 20-30’ up a pine under cut over the edge of a 275’ bluff to the beach below. Basically doing the most crazy task one could think of in that tree, taking a few limbs off for a 270 degree view (tree was maybe 1-5% of existing view).
I couldn’t stop thinking of how utterly fucken stupid this society is. All this money and energy for trivial things, as millions of acres are burning and no one who can afford to is leaving their homes (unless they are flying out for a smoke vacation) as we toil.
Anyway my thoughts went to the natural environment, we certainly are leaving a scar. Then a red tail hawk flew freakishly close and called so loud it almost hurt my ears while wearing ear muffs.. yes we are utterly fucking up insane amounts of crap, yes it’s going to get much worse before it’s better. BUT on a long enough timeline none of us will matter, we will be long long gone if not extinct.. we are just a blip on the cosmic time scale. I found comfort in that.

 

[nicoleb]

To complete the irony it should have been mounted on a bible.

And upside down

 

[Jem4417]

 

[Jem4417]

Mk ultra

 

[Bucknut]

Her brain decay is nearly as bad as Joe’s.

 

[arborandearth]

And yet they get more done for average Americans in 1 month than Trump did in 4 years.

 

[rico]

Yep...Americans are actually getting vaccinated under Joe, and he is on the verge of delivering real relief for working Americans...Things Trump À L'Orange just couldn't be bothered to do...Too busy golfing and stopping the steal I guess...

 

[rico]

Her brain decay is nearly as bad as Joe’s.

Was Donny drunk, high on opiates, stroking out, suffering from catastrophic cotton-mouth, or all of the above?

Please take notice of Donny's hair-doo at 0:53.

 

[arborandearth]

Mr. Hydrochloride, bleach and light COVID cure, some 400 lb guy in his bedroom hacked Hillary, can nuke divert a hurricane, let's buy Greenland, I did more for black people than Abe lincoln, windmills cause cancer, airports in the civil war, this is David Dennison, John Barron, and the election was stolen....But THEY have brain decay.

 

[JeffGu]

Alright, you skippy dickheads... I confess. I was the one that stole the election. I keep it hidden in a rusty, old toolbox in my garage.

If @Bucknut died tomorrow of Covid-19, it would only be .00000000013% of the world population, and would therefore be an insignificant event. This would make a great epitaph, if his next of kin is looking for one.

If I were to kill 100,000 internet trolls tomorrow, it would only be .0013 of the world population, and would therefore be too insignificant of an event to be worth talking about. Nobody should care, and I should be left alone to do my important work on internet cleanup operations as I see fit.

The positions of Mayor, Village Idiot, and Town Drunk for the unincorporated township of TreeBuzz have been filled, and no further applications are being considered at this time. Oddly enough, all three positions were filled by the same person.

If I was paid one dollar every time @Tom Dunlap deleted one of my fine, culturally relevant and artistically significant pictures of naked women in somewhat compromising positions, I could... umm... I don't know, buy TreeBuzz and turn it into a website dedicated to naked, female tree climbers. Or, I could move to Columbus, Ohio and join a militia group and stage raids on @JD3000's booze stash.

So, I was up at the animal shelter trying to get feedback on my latest product line... shit-flavored vape juice for dogs... and they informed me that dogs don't have thumbs and might have trouble operating an e-ciggy. Damn. My best idea always get shot down. No worries, I'll sell the idea to DJT and he can have another bankrupt business venture on his resume.

I was watching a documentary on the 2004 earthquake and tsunami that killed 230,000 people in the Indian Ocean basin. Luckily, that's only .003% of the world population. I don't know why so many people thought it was terrible.

OK, I think I've covered everything.

 

[MA Arborist]

.

 

[arborandearth]

Best laugh I've had in a while...would I be Cuomoish if I started my morning huddles with "Alright you skippy dick heads"? The rest was priceless.

 

[arborandearth]

That would make a great epitaph..."His death was insignificant". Still laughing

 

[evo]

Alright, you skippy dickheads... I confess. I was the one that stole the election. I keep it hidden in a rusty, old toolbox in my garage.

If @Bucknut died tomorrow of Covid-19, it would only be .00000000013% of the world population, and would therefore be an insignificant event. This would make a great epitaph, if his next of kin is looking for one.

If I were to kill 100,000 internet trolls tomorrow, it would only be .0013 of the world population, and would therefore be too insignificant of an event to be worth talking about. Nobody should care, and I should be left alone to do my important work on internet cleanup operations as I see fit.

The positions of Mayor, Village Idiot, and Town Drunk for the unincorporated township of TreeBuzz have been filled, and no further applications are being considered at this time. Oddly enough, all three positions were filled by the same person.

If I was paid one dollar every time @Tom Dunlap deleted one of my fine, culturally relevant and artistically significant pictures of naked women in somewhat compromising positions, I could... umm... I don't know, buy TreeBuzz and turn it into a website dedicated to naked, female tree climbers. Or, I could move to Columbus, Ohio and join a militia group and stage raids on @JD3000's booze stash.

So, I was up at the animal shelter trying to get feedback on my latest product line... shit-flavored vape juice for dogs... and they informed me that dogs don't have thumbs and might have trouble operating an e-ciggy. Damn. My best idea always get shot down. No worries, I'll sell the idea to DJT and he can have another bankrupt business venture on his resume.

I was watching a documentary on the 2004 earthquake and tsunami that killed 230,000 people in the Indian Ocean basin. Luckily, that's only .003% of the world population. I don't know why so many people thought it was terrible.

OK, I think I've covered everything.

I missed you..

 

[Njdelaney]

I wish that this thread could have been deleted after @JeffGu 's last masterpiece. Nothing better can be said.

 

[Jem4417]

Come on no one likes pelosi or McConnell can we at least agree on that? Bonus points to answers that don’t have the word trump in them

 

[JD3000]

Alright, you skippy dickheads... I confess. I was the one that stole the election. I keep it hidden in a rusty, old toolbox in my garage.

If @Bucknut died tomorrow of Covid-19, it would only be .00000000013% of the world population, and would therefore be an insignificant event. This would make a great epitaph, if his next of kin is looking for one.

If I were to kill 100,000 internet trolls tomorrow, it would only be .0013 of the world population, and would therefore be too insignificant of an event to be worth talking about. Nobody should care, and I should be left alone to do my important work on internet cleanup operations as I see fit.

The positions of Mayor, Village Idiot, and Town Drunk for the unincorporated township of TreeBuzz have been filled, and no further applications are being considered at this time. Oddly enough, all three positions were filled by the same person.

If I was paid one dollar every time @Tom Dunlap deleted one of my fine, culturally relevant and artistically significant pictures of naked women in somewhat compromising positions, I could... umm... I don't know, buy TreeBuzz and turn it into a website dedicated to naked, female tree climbers. Or, I could move to Columbus, Ohio and join a militia group and stage raids on @JD3000's booze stash.

So, I was up at the animal shelter trying to get feedback on my latest product line... shit-flavored vape juice for dogs... and they informed me that dogs don't have thumbs and might have trouble operating an e-ciggy. Damn. My best idea always get shot down. No worries, I'll sell the idea to DJT and he can have another bankrupt business venture on his resume.

I was watching a documentary on the 2004 earthquake and tsunami that killed 230,000 people in the Indian Ocean basin. Luckily, that's only .003% of the world population. I don't know why so many people thought it was terrible.

OK, I think I've covered everything.

I'm glad to provide nearly full access and table service to my whiskey bar.

There's a few bottles that are "weddings and funerals only " kinda thing going on though.

 

[arborandearth]

Come on no one likes pelosi or McConnell can we at least agree on that? Bonus points to answers that don’t have the word trump in them

True...Cruz is right up there.

 

[JeffGu]

 

[JeffGu]