For me it isn't a matter of doubting what I think I can do or my knowledge of how to do something, it's playing the what if scenarios in my head that are out of my control. For instance I know I can safely cut and rig a large limb over a house without causing damage because I trust in my skill.
But it's the, "what if the tree tips over when I'm tied into it" or "what if the tree fails when we are on the property and it had nothing to do with us but the homewner blames us" type business. My anxiety isn't specific to tree work, it's a regular part of my daily life. I regularly will play through the what if sitautions and go through potential future conversations / interactions I may have with people over and over to plan for every worst case scenario. What if they say this, how do I respond, if I say this what will they say. If something goes wrong how should I respond or handle it.
I know everyone has a different view on COVID and this isn't even about that, but I have noticed that this "disaster reel" seems to be much more apparent in my life now than before COVID. I don't recall struggling with all these "bad thoughts" as much before.
Don't know if it has something to do with feeling like there is a lack of control over things, or what.
I've retreated because of my anxiety but now I want to face things head on and break free from it and get back to the way I used to feel. But maybe I should start smaller? I primarily focus on pruning and trimming work and smaller removals. Getting involved with these larger removals while it is something I would like to do from time to time, it's extra. My primary focus is pruning.
So maybe I should try and get a better handle on these feelings and stuff before I start getting involved with these bigger jobs? Again, it's unrelated to self-doubt or my ability to actually perform the work, it's getting control of these negative thoughts about something bad happening that I can't prevent or control.