Coffee Coffee Coffee

[Tom Dunlap]

What?

$tarbuck$

Next thing we'll hear is that you're hiring someone to prune your trees. Get a grip...on your wallet!

 

[rico]

What?



Next thing we'll hear is that you're hiring someone to prune your trees.

I reckon that ship has already sailed. Poor fella.

 

[JeffGu]

...with a little warning label on the packaging: "so hard a cat couldn't scratch it."

Or, maybe....
"Makes your dick as hard as Chinese algebra!"

 

[rico]

There he is! The Mr. Gu I know and love! With all this talk of complicated coffee drinks, flavored coffee beans, Starbucks, man-buns, and the rumors that you had recently hired someone to trim your trees, I was beginning to genuinely worry about you. Its good to have you back buddy!

 

[JeffGu]

Aha! I found it! They're still in business, and they still make it!

Three Peckered Billy Goat coffee blend.

I bet you assholes thought I made that up, didn't you?

 

[JD3000]

Yep.

 

[rico]

I bet you assholes thought I made that up, didn't you?

Guilty as charged.

 

[JeffGu]

There's two more bodies the authorities will spend decades trying to find.

 

[JD3000]

You're too busy eating crayon and paste sandwiches at the sanitarium (highway rest stop where he was dropped off) to actually do a bloody thing about it.

Now top off that mug with some steaming Half-donged Goat Covfefe and all will be right with the world again.

 

[rico]

There's two more bodies the authorities will spend decades trying to find.

Those are some bold words from a vanilla-hazelnut, mocha-frappacino drinking, midget-lovin' low life.
Are you as scared as I am, JD?

 

[JD3000]

Terrified. Booked my flight to the Yukon as soon as I read it. I'll go native and disappear amongst the 3 donged caribou and ice cream purveyors.

They have beer and coffee in the Yukon don't they?

 

[JeffGu]

Isn't the Yukon part of that big, frozen slab north of Montana they call Canada?

Better pack your mukluks and some whale blubber. Develop a taste for caribou milk and beer made from pine oil.

Baby seal goes into a bar....
Bartender asks, "What'll you have?"
Baby seal says, "Anything but the Canadian Club."

 

[rico]

 

[colb]

Isn't the Yukon part of that big, frozen slab north of Montana they call Canada?

Better pack your mukluks and some whale blubber. Develop a taste for caribou milk and beer made from pine oil.

Baby seal goes into a bar....
Bartender asks, "What'll you have?"
Baby seal says, "Anything but the Canadian Club."

I, proudly, so totally nailed that song for my 10th grade Spanish project: "Soy un lumberjack y soy bien, duermo todo noche y trabajo todo dia. En viernes voy a... etc."

 

[JeffGu]

...and Canada started building a wall...

 

[JD3000]

but who could blame them...

 

[rico]

Why do all the trees in Canada lean south? Cause America sucks!

 

[Tom Dunlap]

Why do all the trees in Canada lean south? Cause America sucks!

Did last years growth lean a bit to the right?

 

[rico]

Did last years growth lean a bit to the right?

Funny you should mention it, but the did. They also got extremely dishonest, racist, paranoid, stupid, and for some strange reason they started to really enjoy a good titty magazine! Go figure?

 

[colb]

#boycottstarbucks

Wait, we already did, except for @JeffGu ...

Seriously, though, that be the bad side of whiteville... smh. So done with that.

In other news, did y'all notice the sale on #boycottweaver over at TS? Oh yeah, we already did...