Beer Beer Beer.

It's not a pretty picture, my friend. I looked in the fridge and all that's in there, of an alcoholic beverage nature, is some Bunghole & Jaymes flavored malt cooler thingies that the wife bought for reasons I'm unsure of. They're pomegranate and raspberry flavored. I suspect that no actual berries were picked in the making of this fine product. I'm not sure what crime or sin I have committed that forces me to endure such hardships, but I'm willing to concede that the suffering is well deserved. Still, as I sip this unholy abomination, I can't help but cringe at the taste and feel that I'm safe from an afterlife in purgatory, since my life on earth is a living hell at the moment.

My only solace lies in the fact that I am not forced to consume this while viewing some depressing, Ohio landscape.
 
"Under a dead Ohio sky."
-MJK

Sad, sad state of affairs indeed.

Get the old beer bong out and take those cooler things to the face as you have a mission. Due to the unfortunate Pine Sol barfing incident, the truck is out of commision so your gonna have to fire up the riding mower and turtle race to the corner stop and rob asap. Pot holes should be relatively easily to avoid at that speed if that's any consolation.

At said store, you'll have to fend off and swerve around the Slobovians, tweakers, and Mormons, but your prize awaits you in the luke warm beer cave behind the knock-off chip aisle. Of course you'll then get in line behind many of Nebraska's finest and then deal with Gert, the world's worst convenience store clerk who also happens to have a highly communicable skin wasting disease.

The finest corn and rice beer-alternative products are just a few hours within your grasp.

Then you can drive home.

Get me some of those 7-11 rotary cooker taquito thingies while your there.
 
JD3000 said:
...and then deal with Gert...
Click to expand...

Skin wasting disease? Like, mange or something? I always wondered what was going on with her complexion, ever since her fur started falling out.

This dump dropped the taquito-like thingies, in favor of something that looks like Chicken Bites or Gizzards but is labeled as "Cheese Balls". Personally, I was unaware that cheese had balls, but there you have it. Fine dining on a budget ain't what it used to be. If this town got a Sonic Burger, it would be a step up the food chain.
 
I, on the other hand, went to the 1837 Wine and Spirits Emporium after work this afternoon (can't wait to quit my job on Monday...) and bought this fine ale.
20180302_215458.webp
 
When it all comes down to the very nitty-gritty, underlying force behind physics, the nature of existence and the universe, the philosophical analysis of reality...
They will discover, not to our surprise, that it all runs on beer and bullshit.
 
Is that Saran-Wrap I spotted in the background? Going cheap on the birth control, again?

Send me a bottle of that mango-apricot-ginger stuff before you drink it all.
 
Yeah but that same roll of Saran Wrap has been around since 94. The trouble for him has been convincing orthodontists to sell him those tiny little rubber bands to keep the system together.

Dogfish Head is a remarkable brewery, but get your own.
 
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