A daughter's comment

Mick Dempsey said:
Why not just lie to here? Tell her you’re not climbing today, tomorrow etc. till she forgets about it.
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Kids are amazing. Talk to them with respect and find a way to make them understand. My kid is 2 and I feel like I can explain just about anything to him.

Brando, how old is your kiddo?

Thanks for sharing the story. I think it’s natural to have those fears about the people you love. When I took a break from climbing after my hand injury, my dad (who has the personality of mick) said he was very relieved I wasn’t going to be doing that dangerous work anymore.
 
Stumpsprouts said:
Kids are amazing. Talk to them with respect and find a way to make them understand. My kid is 2 and I feel like I can explain just about anything to him.

Brando, how old is your kiddo?

Thanks for sharing the story. I think it’s natural to have those fears about the people you love. When I took a break from climbing after my hand injury, my dad (who has the personality of mick) said he was very relieved I wasn’t going to be doing that dangerous work anymore.
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They really are. I feel the same with my daughter. They're brilliant. She's two as well.

My parents said the same thing when I had to take a break. They feel better about it with me being my own boss oddly. So does my wife. I'm glad my daughter has that kind of foresight. I just don't want to make her worried.

Teaching her is the way to go.
 
Brando CalPankian said:
Good call on the fill body harness. I was looking at the Finn by edlrid but full body seems safer. We've got some little lindens and maples that'll make for a fun climb. I'm going to measure her today and get one ordered. I'm so excited!!!
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My 5yo daughter has a Fraggle off a Buzzer which is quite nice. Answer directly, try to not over explain, they’re safe, you’re safe, the conversation changes with developmental progression.

We had a different but very similarly difficult conversation with the Lewiston mass shooting and her school forwarded some very good resources on talking to kids after shootings. Very different tactics and responses based on age.
 
I got a full body harness for my son way back when, limited to 40 lbs max kid weight or something. It was some round number which he outgrew. Can't remember if I just hoisted and tree-swinged him or let him try DRT. Later I got him the smallest saddle, a petzl, with real side D rings so he could lanyard in etc for real getting around a tree.

Years later I shared a few sunsets with him up our locust tree, he was still small enough to hug. His school went rock gym climbing and apparently he went first and skittled up the wall like a spider due to his climbing experience.
 
Brando CalPankian said:
I was just tucking my daughter in to bed. She's a toddler. Out of the blue she said "I worry about you daddy". I responded with "what do you mean?" She said "I don't want you to fall." Again, I questioned what she meant. She said she didn't want me to fall out of a tree and break my head.

How on Earth do you guys grapple with this sort of sentiment from your kids? I'm still new to parenthood. When my wife worried I could brush it off pretty easy. It kills me that my daughter would worry about me like that. She loves watching me climb, and we've not talked much of falling. No idea where she got that thought from other than her inquisitive self.

Thanks for any advice. It's not what I wanted to hear before a big removal day tomorrow.
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I think this is not so much about tree climbing.

Straight up… your daughter is telling you how much she loves and cares for you. How much she appreciates you, and how well you care for her.

She never wants to lose you. She is aware enough now to have that fear. She’s growing up (in her toddler ways). Your tree climbing is the metaphor through which she can express all that. So beautiful, thx for sharing this!
-AJ
 
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I had a great experience with an arborist friend's 3 year-old twin boys. I was visiting his place and climbing in a small tree in his front yard to show him some "newer" climbing techniques. At the time (2006-ish) I was 51, he was well over 60, and climbing old-school. Tautline Hitch, Weaver saddle with spreader bar etc he dug my setup but wasn't going to change :) No need to.

While I set my line and climbed both boys, one after the other, bear-hugged the trunk and started climbing below me. They made progress! It was amazing. I dialed them back as needed. I think there is a developmental stage for approximately 3-4 year-olds where the inner primate brain and body kicks in. They want to climb trees and they can. Especially with an adult in the tree above. I can imagine them looking up and thinking "You can do that? Me too". Imitation is the most fundamental learning process for ALL ages. Parents know that young kids learn from what they see astoundingly fast.

I had XS New Tribe saddles with me and put both on rope at the same time Blake's Hitch. It was super easy to position their ropes to hang on each side of the roughly 16' diameter trunk. No point in attempting to teach them to operate the Blake's. Most kids need to be at least 6 years-old+ to even consider showing them how to move up on a Blake's.

I was positioned center on the trunk and it was easy to alternately operate their Blakes and advance them by footlocking the tail of their lines (one at a time) and advance their hitches. Or simply pull the line down through their hitches and push the hitch up, they didn't weigh much. Going down was easier, I could've done it in a fancy way with a tethered accessory carabiner above their hitches but it was "keep it simple" easy to alternately move one down 4', leave him and go to the other, do the same. Their Blake's were out of reach of their dinky 3 year-old arms so very safe to "leave 'em and forget 'em for 30 seconds ;-) They liked that, they could wiggle-waggle or look around all they wanted during their mini hang times.

But seriously, I was in relaxed alert mode the whole time. Like always in tree climbing, precious life on a line.
-AJ
 
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I'm loving these responses. I'm so jazzed about getting her up there now. It's really helping me to see how kids develop and ways I can be more active in her life.

I'm sure other dads have felt that it's hard to play with their daughters when they're at a certain age. I want to work in the shop and build things, or play games with tangible goals. She wants to play pretend. I've been doing my best, but I feel like this will give us a whole different kind of bonding. I'm so excited to give it a go.

I appreciate y'all
 
RogerM said:
@Matais, we called it the "super swing" so many fun times. When I first stated climbing. My "calculated risks" weren't so calculated.
After I became a Dad, much more calculated, in fact, it was my motivation to be safe...
Kit will be on the way this afternoon/evening Brando.
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Thank you Roger!
 
Brando CalPankian said:
I try, believe me I do. I'm learning what it is to be a kid through her. I didn't get a childhood so I really don't understand it.
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Consider parenting classes and/ or a parenting counselor/ coach, along with reading about child development.

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