Ya gotta love it when a plan comes together. I was silent partner in this latest venture as I clearly need to be hands off for this one. Fortunately I was able to quickly sell off this business to a certain Albanian with a predilection for fast cash and proctological exploration.
Life in the temperate zone...
- Thread starter JeffGu
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JeffGu
Been here much more than a while
- Location
- Osceola, Nebraska
Tell him I'm not selling the probulator, and to stop calling me.
JeffGu
Been here much more than a while
- Location
- Osceola, Nebraska
Yeah, Whitley Strieber keeps making offers... says he wants it just to remind him of the Good Old Days, circling Pluto with Elvis, Bigfoot and the aliens in search of low cost snack foods and cheap bourbon. I ain't sellin' it, Bubba. He can just go on eating day old donuts and drinkin' rub with his hairy pals out behind the trash dumpster down at the corner convenience/liquor store. That probulator is one of the first nickle-strontium plated models to hit the Jupiter Mall & Wholesale Outlet stores, back in the day. Going to be a real collector's item, down the road.
I need to get some shit out of my trailer, and it's covered in ice and snow. 47* Fuchenheit out there, and it still hasn't melted off. And, of course, my propane torch is inside the trailer, too.
Guess it's going to be another long, boring day....
I need to get some shit out of my trailer, and it's covered in ice and snow. 47* Fuchenheit out there, and it still hasn't melted off. And, of course, my propane torch is inside the trailer, too.
Guess it's going to be another long, boring day....
JeffGu
Been here much more than a while
- Location
- Osceola, Nebraska
That's because Slobovian is more appropriate for this audience.
JeffGu
Been here much more than a while
- Location
- Osceola, Nebraska
Which reminds me... when are you going to pick your cat up?
He ate the neighbor's chickens and crapped on the lawn up at the Methodist Church, yesterday. He's gotta go.
He ate the neighbor's chickens and crapped on the lawn up at the Methodist Church, yesterday. He's gotta go.
No, no, no, no, NO!
I specifically ordered a Killer Cyborg Panther, not that mindless puking fleabag you keep sending me and I send right back. I try to reach Customer service between the appointed hours of 10pm-3am Thursday-Sunday and only get an incoherent voicemail greeting or I get redirected to the VIP Lounge where the proprietor just hangs up the phone after answering.
My emails are answered by graphic images of the posteriors of senior citizens or not at all.
And not for nothing, but I have been waiting months for my gholam containing the genetic material of Attila the Hun, Vlad Tepes, Bob Barker, and Ghengis Khan. When can I expect delivery of this product or a full refund?
Monster Stuff sure has regressed since your merger with Skynet Industries. I've been taking my business elsewhere of late truth be told.
I specifically ordered a Killer Cyborg Panther, not that mindless puking fleabag you keep sending me and I send right back. I try to reach Customer service between the appointed hours of 10pm-3am Thursday-Sunday and only get an incoherent voicemail greeting or I get redirected to the VIP Lounge where the proprietor just hangs up the phone after answering.
My emails are answered by graphic images of the posteriors of senior citizens or not at all.
And not for nothing, but I have been waiting months for my gholam containing the genetic material of Attila the Hun, Vlad Tepes, Bob Barker, and Ghengis Khan. When can I expect delivery of this product or a full refund?
Monster Stuff sure has regressed since your merger with Skynet Industries. I've been taking my business elsewhere of late truth be told.
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JeffGu
Been here much more than a while
- Location
- Osceola, Nebraska
I don't why you keep repeatedly insulting my favorite murderous overlords by including that scumbag Bob Barker's name in those lists.
I believe I may have discovered the DNA of Late Jurassic saurischians which I hope to use to re-establish a proper food chain around here. It's also possible that you barfed on the floorboards of my truck during our last late night beer run, when those damn infrared night vision goggles made those bottles of Pine-Sol look just like bottles of beer. Either way, I'm going to clone this slop by impregnating the egg of a Komodo Dragon with it. We'll see what hatches. I'm hoping for an Allosaurus or something else that's very tall and has a lot of teeth. Anything else, I'll just feed to your cat, which I'll be shipping back to you in spite of your bizarre insistence that you didn't order a cat.
I believe I may have discovered the DNA of Late Jurassic saurischians which I hope to use to re-establish a proper food chain around here. It's also possible that you barfed on the floorboards of my truck during our last late night beer run, when those damn infrared night vision goggles made those bottles of Pine-Sol look just like bottles of beer. Either way, I'm going to clone this slop by impregnating the egg of a Komodo Dragon with it. We'll see what hatches. I'm hoping for an Allosaurus or something else that's very tall and has a lot of teeth. Anything else, I'll just feed to your cat, which I'll be shipping back to you in spite of your bizarre insistence that you didn't order a cat.
JeffGu
Been here much more than a while
- Location
- Osceola, Nebraska
You're going to get a job at Burger Doodle?
JeffGu
Been here much more than a while
- Location
- Osceola, Nebraska
Mmm... guacamole....
Now, I want nachos.
Now, I want nachos.
JeffGu
Been here much more than a while
- Location
- Osceola, Nebraska
Cool. I'm trying to remember what I was doing at the time.... you know, in case I need a good alibi, or something.
One time, I hired a monkey to take notes for me in class. I would just sit there, my mind a total blank, while he scribbled things on little pieces of paper.
At the end of the week, the teacher said "Class, I want you to write a paper using your notes."
So I wrote a paper that said "Hello, my name is Bingo. I like to climb on things. Can I have a banana? Eek! Eek!"
I got an F.
When I told my mom about it she said "I told you, never trust a monkey."
The end.
At the end of the week, the teacher said "Class, I want you to write a paper using your notes."
So I wrote a paper that said "Hello, my name is Bingo. I like to climb on things. Can I have a banana? Eek! Eek!"
I got an F.
When I told my mom about it she said "I told you, never trust a monkey."
The end.
JeffGu
Been here much more than a while
- Location
- Osceola, Nebraska
Bad monkey. Spank the bad monkey, Jason. You know you want to.
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