Life in the temperate zone...

[JD3000]

I mean hell fire and brimstone, Old Testament style slaughtering of first born sons kinda shit. Dogs n cats living together, mass hysteria.

"While My Guitar Gently Weeps" may help for an hour or so but I'm about to be up to my eyeballs in mouth breathing Philistines here come June 7.

 

[Jeff]

Columbus will soon have an Ikea

Once the grand opening pandemonium has blown over, you should check it out. Actually a pretty handy place to get a cheap, tasty dinner. Not unusual for me to hop off I-95 here in New Haven and grab some meatballs or grave lox.
I actually have some friends who plan their roadtrip stops around hitting IKEA's for meals.

 

[JD3000]

Seriously? I had no idea

 

[Jeff]

Their cafeteria is pretty good. 10 surprising good Swedish meatballs & sauce, mashed taters and seasonal veggies for $4.99. Add 5 more 'balls for a buck. Or get the open faced shrimp sandwich, the smoked salmon or grave lox. Soup of the day. Or Swedish apple cake. Or...
My name is Jeff, and I spend too much time at IKEA.

 

[JD3000]

I shall not, SHALL NOT support the scourge that is Ikea. Traffic ruining Scandinavians.

 

[JeffGu]

We need a rendition of Y-M-C-A that spells out I-K-E-A. Where are the Village People when you need them?

 

[JD3000]

Dead.

Or stuck in Ikea induced traffic doldrums.

 

[JD3000]

Cheers to @Jeff

 

[JeffGu]

You can never have too many "J" names in one thread.

 

[Jeff]

Cheers to @Jeff

In case you're wondering Gu, I had myself a really good weekend.

Took her sailing off Maine, and had to threaten to throw her overboard with the sharks, but she said Yes.

 

[JeffGu]

Did you tell her you're bat shit crazy, or are you just going to wait and see if she notices?

Congrats, man!

 

[JD3000]

Yeah, did you show her the ear necklace or your habit of keeping mayonnaise is your pockets yet?

 

[Jeff]

Did you tell her you're bat shit crazy

If she doesn't know it already, (and since her IQ is above 19 I'm guessing she does) I'm sure not going to push her towards that sobering realization.

your habit of keeping mayonnaise in your pockets

Given the fact that she may be the one person who likes mayonnaise more than myself, if she knew I carried around extra mayo in my pockets, she would've proposed to me.

 

[JD3000]

Ask your doctor if Covfefe is right for you.

 

[JeffGu]

Use only as directed. Side effects include venereal warts, headaches, toothaches, gangrene of the genitals, liver failure, genetic mutations, palpatations, nausea, grand mal siezures, pancreatic cancer, cysts, bleeding from the nose and rectum, ulcers, colitis, prostate enlargement, and a sudden urge to build hotels at the taxpayer's expense. Remember, if you have an erection lasting more than four hours immediately seek professional help. Try the yellow pages, under the "hookers" heading.

 

[JD3000]

"Scenes from a Covfefe Shop"

Yes, yes Mr President, we will have more Covfefe later...all the Covfefe you want...

(Yells in Russian...Dimitri!!!Have the girls drink more water!!!)

Now, tell me what else you can do for us here in the Motherland?

 

[JeffGu]

Would that be the Golden Showers Covfefe Shop? Putin's Poontang & Covfefe Cabana?

"Here, have some more borscht and a glob of Smetana in your Covfefe... we talk about scheme to, how you say? Wash the currency?"

 

[JD3000]

Da. Borscht and covfefe. Good no?

 

[JeffGu]

Yah, is very good for fat American, especially.

 

[JD3000]

Da comrade. Da.
You lika the borscht fat man? Soon more covfefe, promise you I do.