So I'm climbing this tree over at Lakeside, which is a gated community with tons of great old trees. You got to pay like $15 per person just to get in to this place, the community is out of sight, not really my scene at all, but hey, I'm visiting my parents there for the weekend so what else is there to do right? I mean this tree is great, it had to be climbed, you know what I mean?.......
With me so far?
OK, so anyway, I'm sneaking out to go climb this thing around 7 am on a saturday morning, figure I will get a early morning masters challenge type of climb in before the wife wakes up, I can be in and out before she even knows I'm gone. Good plan right?
So here I am, got my line all set with an adjustable false crotch, about 10 min in to my setup, and this lady security guard starts walking over to me and I can tell right away that she is giving off a bitch vibe. My line is set, and I'm just snapping my caribiner closed when she asks me what I'm doing.
"I'm going to climb this tree"
That's not allowed - says the bitch
"why not?"
You could fall and get hurt - she says
"Well I'm glad you are concerned about my safety, but just so you know, I have done this before (I had on my Ohio TCC shirt on by the way) and I won't get hurt" And I start to head up the tree cause the clock is ticking right, I mean this is a practice masters challenge after all, I only have 30 minutes....
She grabs her radio to call in reinforcement troops.
You need to come on down now -
"Listen, here's what I'm going to do......I'm going to climb this tree, I'm not going to hurt myself, I'm not going to hurt the tree, I'm not going to hurt others, and I'm certainly not going to hurt you. So go ahead and call the police and YOU explain to them why you are wasting their time and how they should arrest me for doing something that isn't illegal, in the meantime while you are waiting for them to show up you can watch and learn about this so next time you won't shoot off your mouth about something you know nothing about"
What's your name - she replies
I point to my helmet where my name is clearly written on the front and back in plain writing. Then start hauling tail up the tree. She seems to be scribbling down something in a notebook and chatting into the radio. Soon another authority type shows up in the parking lot and they two seem to have a chat as I go about my business.
By now I'm closing in on my 30 minute imposed time limit for my little masters challenge and I'm ready to bail out of the tree and get everything out.
So I'm over time by about 8 minutes, but hey, it was a good climb. Right by Lake Erie on a real nice summer Saturday morning. All the while I can feel the evil eye of the bitch, and wondering where the police are.
I'm bagging up my stuff and getting ready to load up my wagon and head out. No police but one pretty pissed off security lady.
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My point is that I already checked with the Lakeside association to see if I needed a permit or if this type of activity was illegal here. I gave them my credentials and let 'em know what the deal was. They asked around, and said it was cool, I didn't need a permit or anything like that. So I knew in advance I was cleared for take off.
The security guard was going off half cocked, so I could call her bluff.
It never hurts to do your homework before you go to some of these places, especially since the best trees always seem to be in rather public places which is cool because there is a built in safety factor with people around.
Since I am a 100% rec climber only, I have a lot of experience here, and have found that if you find a great tree in a nice park on a busy day, you will get plenty of spectators that love to watch you do your thing. If you have a group of guys climbing with you all the better. Just ask any of the guys around here that climb the monster Oak over at Woodlands park, they know exactly what I mean.
So in closing....
FIGHT THE POWER!!!
ha ha ha......
Thank you for letting me sound off, I now step down from the soap box.