Biggest tree lie you’ve heard (or said?!)

[27RMT0N]

"Yes, of course that tree is over 200' from the shoreline and doesn't need a permit!"

 

[MA Arborist]

Wow, you guys must not have to go to the gym!

 

[Tom Dunlap]

Wow, you guys must not have to go to the gym!

Arbos get paid to pump wood so they don’t have to pay to pump iron

 

[Mike Islander]

"What do mean? Looks like any other tree to me."

 

[Jonny]

Lol it doesn’t rustle in the breeze, it claps.

 

[Planet Rope]

Just heard another one a minute ago. A guy is trimming a tree in one of the properties that butts up to the back of ours. Standing on an extension ladder running a corded chainsaw, no rigging ropes, no PPE. The last limb he cut got hung up and as he cut the tips off at ground level the limb came crashing down just missing a fence, shed and barely hit a bench swing (pushed the A frame sideways as the limb landed)

Now for the lie: I introduced myself and offered to help explaining that I own a tree service. He declined my help and said "its pretty straightforward, I think I've got this"

 

[Planet Rope]

Your contract climbing a BFT, and the primary tree guy your climbing for says, “ Hey man I didn’t get that much for this tree, I’m trying to help some friends out, so can you work with me on this one”

 

[Crimsonking]

Your contract climbing a BFT, and the primary tree guy your climbing for says, “ Hey man I didn’t get that much for this tree, I’m trying to help some friends out, so can you work with me on this one”

That burns me up. I would have to have a VERY good reason to climb for them again.

 

[Crimsonking]

And the answer would be no. If they brought me in, they knew the cost.

 

[GregManning]

“ if you cut the right way, your chain will get sharper”

@Neill
Many years ago I bought a nice log splitter directly from the manufacturer. I went to the plant to inspect, since it had a few minor custom features. I was very disappointed by how "dull" the splitting wedge was.
The salesman said "It will get sharper as you use it !"
I thought "What a crock-of-**** ! "

Actually, it was NOT a lie.
As long as I don't hit some buried metal, etc., it is "almost" sharp enough to shave with ! ! !

So . . . . it seemed like a lie at the time; but wasn't !

 

[Neill]

@Neill
Many years ago I bought a nice log splitter directly from the manufacturer. I went to the plant to inspect, since it had a few minor custom features. I was very disappointed by how "dull" the splitting wedge was.
The salesman said "It will get sharper as you use it !"
I thought "What a crock-of-**** ! "

Actually, it was NOT a lie.
As long as I don't hit some buried metal, etc., it is "almost" sharp enough to shave with ! ! !

So . . . . it seemed like a lie at the time; but wasn't !

That’s cool. My quote was by some redneck that was at the mountain saw shop in rural Kentucky where I used to live. He was carrying on about how many trees he was cutting( logging) a day and how he was so good that his chain somehow got sharper as he cut. He was full of it by my esteemed estimation

 

[Nish]

That tree was injured by a barbed wire fence, and then it grew.

 

[evo]

“Whew, I’m glad that worked. I haven’t tried that on anything this big before”. Best spoken very loudly after felling a bigish tree, also make sure the client is well within ear shot. I love the range of emotions on their face as the figure out it’s just a joke

 

[southsoundtree]

Before a big fell by the house, pull out your phone partway through and loudly call, "hang on... gotta ask Google something!".