Titles for job positions, what's yours??

moss said:
That is too regular an occurrence.

The 5 stages of dog poop:

1. Huh, my right foot seems a little slippery on the ground
2. Do I smell something? Seems be following me around
3. Denial
4. Ok, I'm in the truck heading home and I still smell dog shit!
5. Acceptance

Pro tip: Later on when you're spraying off the bottom of your boot with a garden hose, wear eye protection!

-AJ
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What's worse is right after you put on all your climbing gear, and you're 10 ft up the tree.
 
Vicente said:
What's worse is right after you put on all your climbing gear, and you're 10 ft up the tree.
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How about the groundie sending up a cable and you suddenly smell something funky. Only to realize they dragged the cable through dog shit on the end that gets installed.
 
Jzack605 said:
How about the groundie sending up a cable and you suddenly smell something funky. Only to realize they dragged the cable through dog shit on the end that gets installed.
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Dog poop surcharge needs to be added to the contract. On top of the bittersweet vine surcharge. Stuck throwbags, no charge but the customer will be given a warning: "If your tree gets my throwbag stuck again there will be consequences! By the way, what's that smell, do you have a dog?".
-AJ
 
moss said:
Dog poop surcharge needs to be added to the contract. On top of the bittersweet vine surcharge. Stuck throwbags, no charge but the customer will be given a warning: "If your tree gets my throwbag stuck again there will be consequences! By the way, what's that smell, do you have a dog?".
-AJ
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Me to client at the estimate as I pick up my shit encrusted boot:

Me: I see you have horses

Client: oh no sorry! That’s just Brutus our Great Dane

Me: of course you’ll have all this cleaned up when we start your project right? So you can avoid the dog shit surcharge…

Client: oh yes of course!

Me: Don’t you fuckin lie to me!!! :ROFLMAO:
 
moss said:
That is off the charts. I kind of flipped out the last time it happened.
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This summer was the worst! Did a crown restoration job on a previously butched big leaf maple about 20' down a cliff/bluff to the beach, rappelled from a tree in the yard for access to the base of the tree dragging my tail. Someone has been flinging YEARS worth of dogshit just off the edge into a pile of hot nasty.... I literally thought their septic was leaking for about a hour until one of my other guys stepped into it and broke the crust!
 
evo said:
This summer was the worst! Did a crown restoration job on a previously butched big leaf maple about 20' down a cliff/bluff to the beach, rappelled from a tree in the yard for access to the base of the tree dragging my tail. Someone has been flinging YEARS worth of dogshit just off the edge into a pile of hot nasty.... I literally thought their septic was leaking for about a hour until one of my other guys stepped into it and broke the crust!
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The only answer there is light it on fire and hope for the best! Newspaper headline the next day: Dogshit Blaze Burns Beach Blankets! The story: Local beach goers barely escaped a stinky burn when a (now disgraced) tree worker accidentally created a hot mess burning dog poop flow down a steep bluff onto a popular nude sunbathing location. The tree worker responded to our reporter's inquiries: "You try setting a line with your boots sunk into an epic shit pile! It just won't work".

What were we talking about? Oh yeah, job titles.
-AJ
 
chipper1 said:
Yeah it has.
I was thinking of you guys today when I was loading the tractor up .
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Not enough laughing emojis for this one!

Just want to point out that coyote poop will not do that, it’s all fur, bones, and berry seeds. The dogfood industry has to answer for this horrendous situation for outdoor workers! Class action lawsuit? If only for emotional injury.

My current job title is:
Supervising Canine Poop Analyst

Thank you,
-AJ
 
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