Titles for job positions, what's yours??

[evo]

My job titles are Truck Driver and Head Goon. I am currently looking to hire an Existential Dread Manager, as I fear I am underqualified for such an important position...

Hey hit me up with some details on that job description it’s already sounding like I’d be a great fit. Just need a 450k salary paid up front and I’ll toss some gas on the fire and flair it up with my souped up leaf blower!

 

[Muggs]

Hey hit me up with some details on that job description it’s already sounding like I’d be a great fit. Just need a 450k salary paid up front and I’ll toss some gas on the fire and flair it up with my souped up leaf blower!

Do you have most of your teeth? Yer hired!!

 

[Chris Schultz]

My job titles are Truck Driver and Head Goon. I am currently looking to hire an Existential Dread Manager, as I fear I am underqualified for such an important position...

Where do I send my resume?

 

[Muggs]

Where do I send my resume?

Applicants must be well versed in the philosophy of Kierkegaard and Nietzsche, and personally selected and approved by a moderator of this forum...

 

[Reach]

Applicants must be well versed in the philosophy of Kierkegaard and Nietzsche, and personally selected and approved by a moderator of this forum...

I am familiar with the philosophies of Kierkegaard and Nietzsche, but I disagree quite strongly with some of them. Do I have to agree with their philosophies to be considered for this position, or simply have knowledge of those philosophies?

 

[Muggs]

I am familiar with the philosophies of Kierkegaard and Nietzsche, but I disagree quite strongly with some of them. Do I have to agree with their philosophies to be considered for this position, or simply have knowledge of those philosophies?

Negative on the agreeing with them. How's yer teeth?

 

[evo]

Do you have most of your teeth? Yer hired!!

Well got a white gold crown on a upper canine, one of the upper incisors is glued back on in lieu of a crown.. no gaps but I’m sure @JeffGu could help me out if it’s really required.
As for philosophy I’m too nihilistic to agree with any of it, we’re fucked and there is no point of overthinking about it.

 

[Reach]

Negative on the agreeing with them. How's yer teeth?

I still have all of them! Even my wisdom teeth! There’s one with a big chip though, and a couple a little out of place…

 

[Muggs]

As for philosophy I’m too nihilistic to agree with any of it, we’re fucked and there is no point of overthinking about it.

I hear ya, my delusionally optimistic friends are always like "why are you so cynical?"... Uhh, because I pay attention, that's why...

If hope is not a strategy then I don't see how optimism can be a philosophy, then again, the World has always been crazy...

 

[Dan Cobb]

I'm a Cellulose Configuration Modification Technician.

 

[Fivepoints]

My dad has determined I have the title of "tree assassin" after I cut more limbs off his cedar than he wanted.

In my defense, I was trying to cut enough clearance that I wouldn't have to do it again shortly. I havent had to touch it in over 5 years.

 

[Neill]

I Like the ring of “ stump hero”

 

[RogerM]

detritus mitigation expert... or
mess maker/cleaner upper

 

[Fivepoints]

I Like the ring of “ stump hero”

"Stump cut hero" kinda reminds me of "juke box hero"

 

[KTSmith]

I know that when I was interviewing job candidates, I always requested a co-dependent enabler. If they laughed in my face, they had a chance. If they carefully noted and wrote that down...well, they'll probably have trouble although not with me.

 

[Barc Buster]

That is too regular an occurrence.

The 5 stages of dog poop:

1. Huh, my right foot seems a little slippery on the ground
2. Do I smell something? Seems be following me around
3. Denial
4. Ok, I'm in the truck heading home and I still smell dog shit!
5. Acceptance

Pro tip: Later on when you're spraying off the bottom of your boot with a garden hose, wear eye protection!

-AJ

And keep your mouth closed

 

[Jehinten]

Mines chief executive kicker of the dog shit

At least there are job opportunities out there, should you ever be looking for a change.

 

[Reach]

View attachment 83854

At least there are job opportunities out there, should you ever be looking for a change.

I know a guy who does that, it pays surprisingly well. He has a small franchise, and works solo.

 

[chipper1]

I know a guy who does that, it pays surprisingly well. He has a small franchise, and works so-low.

Fixed

 

[chipper1]

And keep your mouth closed

So you really have experience .