theXman a bully?

theXman

theXman

Branched out member
Location
MD, USA
In a recent thread, I called myself a bully.

The next day I thought about it and thought about it every day since.

I don't think I'm quite a typical bully, a bully picks on the weak.

I've been a defender of the weak, especially if they don't deserve it; every since I can remember....

I was in second grade, on the bus, I saw a bigger first grader take the pine cones from another smaller first grader. The small guy was bringing them in for show and tell. The bigger kid would not give them back and the smaller kid started to cry.
I asked the bigger kid to give them back twice and he said no twice. I grabbed him by the neck, squeezed hard and said, "GIVE THEM BACK". He handed the pine cones back to the smaller boy then layed on the seat crying quitely.

Needless to say, his family came to visit after school hinting they were going to sue because they said his ear canals weren't working right or something.

Hmmm, I just thought of another bus incident. Interesting, as I've not thought of it in many years.

I was in maybe 1st or 2nd grade. A third or fourth grader got on the bus and told me to get out of my seat because he wanted the seat. I said NO. He sat down and pushed his back against me and forced me towards the window, I used what I had which was my teeth and bit him in the back. I remember it was a jean jacket. He screamed and for some reason fell down on the floor (I don't think I was big enough to get him on the floor), I took my feet and stomped on him as hard as I could (I remember the kids cheering)until the bus driver broke it up. I kept my seat.

I don't go after and pick on the weak, as a bully does.

I'll give you some lip if I think you are wrong and especially if I think you can handle it.

If you are a liar, I will call you out no matter what, as I can't stand a liar.

I will not pick or argue with someone if they are weak and especially if they don't deserve it.

I was not a Jock in High school, I was not a nerd, I was not a loser, I was not a hick.

I had friends in all catagories and I was just myself.

Anyway, I just wanted to correct what I said before about being a bully, as I've thought long and hard on it now.
 
I Think society as a whole these days is becoming full of weaklings. There is a huge difference between criticism and bullying.

I grew up as a twin. Competition is what made us strong and criticism/ridicule for being bad at something is what made us excel at whatever we did. When you straight tell someone they are doing something wrong or suck, there are 2 ways it will go. The strong person will be driven to do better and not hear it again or prove you wrong. The second type goes and cries in the corner and hates you.

Bullying different, a single person or group of people putting someone down to make themselves feel better. Its not criticism, its not to hoping they listen to what you say and learn from their mistakes.

X from what I see you are not out bullying. You are calling people out based on your experience in the business. For the most part you don't sugar coat anything and thats good. A smart person will take your words and learn from them not cry like a baby.

This post does not apply to you and Daniel. You and him have a special bond... It can only end in a epic TreeBuzz MMA pay per view!
 
X you ain't no bully, as Arborman said you are a smart dude with lots of experience in this field and a very driven man...you call a spade a spade no BS there...anyhow I also agree that todays youth are growing up a bit too sensitive and protected making them soft, a bit pampered...that being said I grew up in the eighties in Canada, in my high school I was the consumate slacker a dude who wasn't in any clique, had jock friends, had nerd friends and loner friends even a few loser friends...but one thing I remember was that no one ever got in my face cause I was not one to start trouble and I surely did not look weak. I got stories of scores being evened out where some jock or rocker makes a weaker mortal look like crap for no other reason than he is physically weak, well that wasn't cool to me and I would make it known that it wasn't...scores were settled at parties on weekends ( or after school )and took very little of my time believe me ( bullies have lots of weaknesses that's why they bully )...three types of people that I dislike are theives, liars and bullies......I live my life by respecting others and our differences, makes me be able to sleep at night comfortably......
 
Some of you guys do have very strong opinions and aren't shy to give them. That's not being a bully. If someone actually was a bully on here, we would probably shut them down verbally.
There are a few outstanding anuses in TB, but it's none of you guys. I respect it when you can back up your own claims, but even more so when you have an open mind and are willing to change it when someone who is a usual adversary makes a solid point. And even more, more so when you take the high road and don't get dirty with the nasty trollers ( unless it's funny...then I'm conflicted...lol)
And of course, if you dish it out, you have to take it too.

I remember once, a teenage boy was stealing my kid sister's bike. I was maybe 7. I grabbed it back and put my sis on it and gave her a starting shove and shouted at her to pedal like mad for home. The kid picked me up and punched me on the jaw. I was dumbfounded. I was sure there was blood and gore everywhere. I ran home too spooked to even cry. I admit I was mildly disappointed that there was only a tiny cut on my lip. But who hits a little girl?
 
Criticism is one thing, ridicule directed at the person is intimidation, plain and simple. Criticized and given some redirection built my skills and confidence, being ridiculed did nothing to help. Hockey, baseball, soccer, billiards, football, played em all, competed, won and lost, cheered my rivals and friends.

I grew up with a bullying older brother who encouraged his buddies to join in. Did this make me stronger? No, it made me resentful while desiring his acceptance. Later in life I finally learned what drove my brother's bullying. This established a new and healthier relationship between us. I stood up to bullies as I got older and wasn't hanging around my brother and his buds. Like X and Swing, I hung with everyone in high school and never had a problem.

It can be a fuzzy line between crushing someone's spirit and helping build them up into a confident individual.
 
It can be a fuzzy line between crushing someone's spirit and helping build them up into a confident individual.

[/ QUOTE ]

Now when I write in reply to an initial post the above quote by Humper is what I should be running through my mind, I just need to be mindful of wheather I am honestly trying to help another or just singing my own praises ( blowing my own trumpet ) by pointing out their lack of understanding or failure of good practices....in other words I need to be mindful of my intentions....
 
X

You're no bully, you're opinionated and that is a trait that will get you further in life, and only my good friends are opininated, so stick to it.

Maybe when someone ruffles your feathers, use your intellect and niceness to answer rather than a straight out insult, cause that could be seen as childish (I would definatley not call it being a bully) and more often than not will be retorted with a similar childish response.

Go easy on yourself X, .......wish I knew how to send you a virtual hug...

Ps. I was going to sign of with XOXO,...you know that it means hugs and kisses,...so the X must mean hugs and the O is kisses.....

Xman, you are now the official Hugman!
 
there is a difference between "being" and "acting as"..

nothing we say or do can separate us from our essential nature..

so you can be yourself and only yourself, not a bully...

have fun and let it go...
 
Oh Chop Chop gag me with a spoon!

X, be true to yourself, your childish insults are great. Save your niceness and intellect for dinner time with the family. I mean think about it, we take down heavy wood in near impossible situations, sometimes you need to come down and slap some bitches, like a boss... and so we do.

X, you could be considered a bully, but only in today's standards. Just because we live in such a mambi-pambi society. Not enough of this up and coming generation got the belt, so they cry poor me, I gots my feelin's hurt. Well, go cry to your mother.

X, you pick on everyone, not just the weak or the strong, everyone. It's part of your TB personality. You picked on me when I first showed up on the scene, and it was well deserved. At the time I didn't feel so bad because I was sleeping with your mother, but now I realize that you, when you are at the top, you have no where to look but down - it's a sort of way of weeding through the weak.

Some good posts here, we'll except for Nick and Humper... no just kidding.

Swing - lucky trumpet.

Since we are story telling... I was on the golf team in high school, we took it pretty seriously. Well, our number one guy, we'll call him Nick, was getting bullied in his auto shop class by a guy we'll call Kragen. Everyday during break Nick would go outside and Kragen would dig right into Nick's lunch. He'd eat his whole lunch. Well, one day Nick decided to make a $hit sandwich, one morning he watched his dog drop a fresh one, scooped it up, and added it to his mom's turkey sandwich. Sure enough, like clockwork, Nick went on break, Kragen stole his lunch, and took a big heaping bite of the $hit sandwich. Oh boy, halfway through he realized what happened and we all got a good laugh. Well both of them got expelled.

The same week, I'm in gym class, and this dick hole kid was making trouble, just like he had the whole year, picking on me and talking $hit. Well, I had finally had enough, we got face to face in a pretty good yelling match. Dude had a full hard cast on his broken arm, He hit me three times on the side of the head. Not even phased, I grabbed his neck and pinned him against the lockers.

I knew I couldn't hit him back, we had one golf team member down because of the $hit sandwich and couldn't lose another. So I gave him the crazy look until the teacher broke it up. I learned a lot that day, we went on to win the championship, and that punk a$$ kid got expelled.

Funny to think of now because not too long ago I went on a bid for the same kids dad, had some oaks to takedown, I gave him a fair price, the jerk face never called me back, spoiled a$$ kid probly still all butt-hurt. Get over it man it's been like 10 years.

Anyway X, hope that helps.
 
Bix, my main man,....gag me with a spoon??

Teach me brother..is it the same as choke me with a fork??

You young punks!!!....,.... so cute...
 
David is a grade A A Hole. Period.
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Xman your an enigma.
One day your hard xxx the next your all like empathetix.

What I take away, is a caring and sharing man.With whole lotta steam to blow off. Tough what we do and I have had similar conversation with my employees. Run a biz, do the work, care more than anybody else, expect to much, love the job, hate the job, fn clients, no life, home life, etc etc.

Its been good fun with challenges! Its what makes the world go around.

Cheers
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