The Wife

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I am happy that people have actually read my post. I kind of enjoyed the opportunity to say the things that most women can't seem to step up and admit to, or it just comes out as nagging. Believe me, I have done more than my fair share of nagging in the past, but that isn't the person I want to be today. Today I just want to be happy. Honestly, that is something that I have to provide for myself, no one can "make" me feel any way, I have a choice.

By clearly laying what your needs are out, your partner then has the opportunity to decide if he or she can meet those needs, no mind reading or guessing required. Also, having expectations for another person is absolutely the easiest way to build resentments towards them, for not meeting the expectations.

Just my thoughts. I am not perfect by any means, but I try not to make anyone else be perfect either, at least anymore.

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my little helper
 
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Communications have always been our problem because what we each say is not what the other hears.

Best help we've ever gotten was from these books:

For Women Only

For Men Only

Maybe y'all might find them helpful.

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I'm not actually married, but as the only woman at our maintenance shop, the book For Women Only was VERY helpful for me to really understand the guys I work w/. I'm sure it would help spouses understand each other very well.
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My wife and I love eachother, love eachother, respect eachother, etc... But, our communication styles are what don't match up. And it ususally, is because I'm in too much of a hurry and only want cliff notes. Which, results as me being insensitive towards her.

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Ha Ha so true Jamin. Women like to tell every single detail of the story before they get to the end. Men are the opposite, they like to get to the point right away and usually start with the end first. My girlfriend and I made a compromise, I ACTUALLY listen when she's telling me about her day, if she gives me a shortened guy version. Works wonders.
 
Thanks for all the input guys! I was having a bad day, and I almost forgot I posted this thread
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. I love my wife, my children, my dogs, and my duties (at work and at home). I do everything I can for them and her, and sometimes I go above and beyond (hopefully for a little nookie
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)
 
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[...]Tell her about your day, and ask her about hers (then actually listen).

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Damn! I was doing so good up to that part.


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Sometimes communication becomes difficult because women tend to hold everything you have ever done wrong against you for eternity.

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Very true and it gets compounded when women tend to forget every thing you've ever done right... pretty much immediately.


I would offer some of my own sage advice... but then, who am I kidding? I've been married and divorced twice.


Seriously, your wife is the hardest because she is the one you're most committed to pleasing and you just can't please someone day-in, day-out without dropping the ball every now and then.
 
[ QUOTE ]
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[...]Tell her about your day, and ask her about hers (then actually listen).

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Damn! I was doing so good up to that part.


[ QUOTE ]
Sometimes communication becomes difficult because women tend to hold everything you have ever done wrong against you for eternity.

[/ QUOTE ]
Very true and it gets compounded when women tend to forget every thing you've ever done right... pretty much immediately.


I would offer some of my own sage advice... but then, who am I kidding? I've been married and divorced twice.


Seriously, your wife is the hardest because she is the one you're most committed to pleasing and you just can't please someone day-in, day-out without dropping the ball every now and then.

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It would be good to find someone ahead of time who realizes that people are human, and that both parties make mistakes. Sometimes a bit of understanding goes a lot long way.

I can't really give advise from a male perspective, I just know the things that have bothered me in the past and some of the stupid mistakes I have made. I honestly don't know how things will play out in my life, but I try to treat others a little bit better.

Not to go in to any detail, but I am hoping for the best in my situation. If it doesn't work out, at least I will know I have done what I could, and I know I will treat my partner as good as I possibly can everyday.
 
38 years of marriage has taught me that I know nothing about my wife. I'm glad that ya'll have them figured out. I try to give her the same respect I would my best friend, which she is, the rest of life is give and take, listen and try not to be right too much of the time. Bacon and eggs in the morning at home is motivation to me.
 
Re: The Wife-Happy Mother\'s Day!

What perfect timing!

Celebrate her special day tomorrow...even if she isn't a 'Mom' she does put up with us guys who are really just big kids after all!
 
Re: The Wife-Happy Mother\'s Day!

Blinky,

For some guys that dropping the ball now and then is more like dribbling a basketball.

It's hard to know when you've dropped the ball until your called on it. Sometimes it's just better to say, OOPS, my bad, not try to explain your thinking AND let her explain the problem she has with whatever you did. Then you can deal with it than get it a a long battle.
 
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