The Funniest Job Ever

I have a couple of chuckles, but no real belly laughs.

A few years ago, I was on a crew that hired a Cuban ground man. He was an aspiring boxer and viewed toting logs and brush as a workout, but couldn't be troubled much to rake up the last of the cleanup. On one job, we spent all day taking turns as the sounding board for a particularly chatty client. She was very charming and nice, but obviously we were having a hard time getting the job done. One by one, we'd get caught, then duck away, and do our best to avoid her thenceforth. Toward the end of the day, when Dexter was usually most useless, I noticed he'd found a purpose. He was smiling and nodding as the client chatted away at him, oblivious to the fact that he didn't understand a word she was saying.

On another crew, we had an enthusiastic climber who had a few years clearing wires when he hired on. He was really happy to learn the newer techniques we were using, like split tails and MT-type tie-ins. One day, he announced a breakthrough; he'd invented a new knot to terminate into his saddle. He went to show us how great it worked before anyone could inspect it for reliability. Fortunately, he only got a few feet up before it unwound. I think falling on his chainsaw was still pretty painful, but he didn't incur any lasting injuries.
 
While doing ROEs in Neww Orleans I asked our Army Corps QA if he ever saw any crazy stuff from people who claimed to know what they were doing. Sure he said and told of a guy who didn't have a lowering device and didn't even know about wrapping around the tree. He tied off to his car and when he cut the limb he sent his car 30' in the air, then he panicked cut it down from 30' and demolished what was left.
 
Hee heee those were great. 1914 the only thing I can of is the movie The Gods MustBe Crazy when the hauled the landrover outta the river and it ended up in the tree.
Babbernery I have some chatter boxes on the crew we run and some well less than motavated ones but to all I find the purpose of custumer service is always good for then to take away the doings of the rest.
 
I was sent out to do two seperate jobs. The first was to prune and dead wood 3 trees. I finished up the job. About a week later another arborist was sent to remove two of them. The first I knew was when I drove by. The second job was the same but with different trees. I guess the salesman was a good talker selling two jobs on the same trees. I asked if my pruning job was the reason they were felled. The boss didn't know that I even pruned them a week prior.

Hey I still got paid...
 
I just read the post on black snake and that was cool. It reminded me of a job that we did on the side for a landscape comp. The foreman was being an a$#whole to us for taking so long in the trees for his crew needed to do some plantings under the trees in the beds there. Well I was come down to my last nerve with his insults and listening to him talk smack to my bud. During lunch time he took of on foot to the local pizza place and would be gone awhile so his crew said. I looked at my bud and nodded job done. Just then he pulled the chip truck around and started to unload it in the back of the foremans little ol pickup truck. Well I helped him out and so did his crew for they hated him to that day. In the end of this his truck full to the T and inside it to his crew did that one we left a sign I may take long to do a great job but in all it takes less time to be an a$%whole! With that we left and really did not exspect to get paid. I just remeber running into one of his crew later and them saying man was he pissed till he found out that they helped(greatest crew he runs) just the thought of him seeing his truck full of chips and clean up material would have made my day.
 
Had a couple of removals to in a trailer park yeaterday. It all was going good as you could do in a welfare reform park (looks like a tornado picked the deal up from someplace and threw it down here). The first removal was a breeze simple notch and drop, second was a climber, but not to bad, and then the last. It was my turn to go up as I just set up for my ascend I noticed the door of the trailer in front of me opens up and there stands 320+ pounds of mooomoo and curlers looking at me. I do not remember the climb but it was fast and the guys where laughing their arses off at me till I radioed down to them the situation. All I could say was "Man she looked lonely and hungeryy for a man and I was not it." I did the removal and got outta dodge they where still giggling over it and saying man that reminded them of a scared bear getting up a tree. In my responce all I could say was a bear would not even had a chance with her. If you would have seen this I know you would have peed yourself. I am 165 and well 320+ would have killed me, so scared bear option is what I did.
 
Hey man, you could ease up a bit, don't you think? She might not have an ideal physique but she might have better written-English skills than you.

Funny thing is, if she was interested at all in your skinny butt, that she probably thought you were showing off for her by climbing so quickly!
 
Hey, I might have laughed harder than you. But seeing it's one thing; telling the whole world is another. Not everyone who's fat or poor are that way because they want to be.

I didn't say you were stupid for having a sense of humor.
 
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