I’m done

Njdelaney said:
If anyone has his phone number can you call and verify that he isn't dead? I'm sure I'm not the only one who has some sense of obligation to do this but I don't have any contact information.
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Unfortunately, I don’t think I have his number. He has mine, but I don’t have his and I can’t remember his business name to even try to look it up that way.
 
Dear Climbing Monkey,

I was deeply touched and inspired recently after reading your post (below, at page bottom), in which you reached out to help someone else who needed a friend. I actually asked myself, "Is this the Climbing Monkey, the person whom we all cared (care) about and kept a concerned eye on when he was down? And today he is clear headed and skillfully and empathetically helping others in return!" I have seldom been so happy for someone whom I've never actually met. But my joy was genuine--as is the concern and comradeship of everyone here--so please don't doubt it.

I'd guess that you are having a particularly bad day today and I think that you should withhold all decisions until the sun rises tomorrow, EXCEPT for reaching out for medical and emotional support as suggested above; you should do that right now!

While none of us truly knows what you are going through, specifically, at this moment, you would be wrong to think that most of us have not felt (or feel) similar desperation in our lives. I have considered suicide during numerous periods in my life. But I am so happy now that I didn't flip that switch; I instead reached out for help many times and am actually quite content these days.

There's no coming back from death, which means that you would never again be able to offer the type of kindness and fellowship that you selflessly gave to the fellow below when he/she was in need. Your words are amazingly insightful, and they clearly indicate that you understand the value and convolutions of life, and long for better days. It would be a tragedy if you weren't around to help others in the future. We all need each other.

Please be sure to take the next steps (withdrawal, recovery, counseling, catharsis, exercising) in becoming reacquainted with the loving fellow inside you.
___________________________________________​

From: https://www.treebuzz.com/forum/threads/ongoing-self-doubt-fear.47136/page-3#post-718794

Climbing Monkey wrote: "Not sure if it’s been mentioned already, but one thing that may help is exercise. Exercise can be a great tool for coping / dealing with a variety of things like anxiety, stress, etc. (but doesn’t necessarily replace professional help).

If you’re not working out already, it could be whatever you enjoy. Go for a run, lift weights, do some yoga, swim, or a mix of multiple things.

Personally I workout first thing in the morning before work because it helps me get into the right mindset to go tackle the day, so what time of day you actually workout could play a role as well.

Just a thought. Ultimately though it’s something you’ll have to figure out for yourself. Anxiety can be a highly individual experience and the causes can vary for each individual.

Stay strong
 
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climbingmonkey24 said:
You know what I mean @Reach, and @Tom Dunlap, and @Mark Chisholm...but hey, who cares right?
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Brother, you need to listen to what everyone has been saying. Everyone has battles. We don't have to handle them alone. Get help. We can't do more from a computer/phone screen that offer support. You need to help yourself. We all support that.
 
I think a big first step for you would be to say something that clearly accepts responsibility for your actions. You said some pretty nasty things about this forum and saying you "regret saying things when not in a clear mind" is a passive way to describe what happened the other night. You insulted us and attempted to blame/guilt us for your impending suicide. You need to take responsibility for those words, and for the actions that led to that unclear state of mind. This is the first step to supporting yourself in this battle. Until you're all in, it doesn't matter how much support you have, which by the way is A LOT. Just so you know how your actions affect people, I personally spent a number of hours wondering if you were dead and trying to think of what I could do to prevent that from happening, including calling you and leaving you a message, which I did, and that was after a long, shitty 12-hour day at work. We care about you and want you to seek REAL change. The rest is up to you.
 
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islandarb said:
Stick around buddy. Hang in there....look for a support group where you live. Life is so worth living. Been sober over 17 years from drugs and alcohol. I have been homeless for many years before that. I know your struggle. Now I have a great biz and a beautiful family. Do not throw in the towel. You are worth it. Life has good things for you.
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I’ve woken up on, behind, or in a few dumpsters.

@climbingmonkey24
One thing that we NEED to normalize is male mental health, and drug addiction.

I’m careful about personal experiences online, pretty damn open in person to someone that I trust.

Just know this pain isn’t unique and many people have their own version. It’s like a soup.. most all soups have one ingredient that dont sit well with everyone. That ingredient is something everyone has, to some that is what makes the soup, to others it’s the breaking point. All the other ingredients is our individual experiences, genetics, and to some faith/religion.

I have some dark closets, we all do, but never is that closet the same as a finger print is never the same.
 
Njdelaney said:
I think a big first step for you would be to say something that clearly accepts responsibility for your actions. You said some pretty nasty things about this forum and saying you "regret saying things when not in a clear mind" is a passive way to describe what happened the other night. You insulted us and attempted to blame/guilt us for your impending suicide. You need to take responsibility for those words, and for the actions that led to that unclear state of mind. This is the first step to supporting yourself in this battle. Until you're all in, it doesn't matter how much support you have, which by the way is A LOT. Just so you know how your actions affect people, I personally spent a number of hours wondering if you were dead and trying to think of what I could do to prevent that from happening, including calling you and leaving you a message, which I did, and that was after a long, shitty 12-hour day at work. We care about you and want you to seek REAL change. The rest is up to you.
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You’re absolutely right here.

Knowing that being under the influence sometimes causes me to say and do things I regret or don’t really mean, I made the conscious decision to still do it anyway with the knowledge that it was a possibility my actions might have a negative effect on others if I chose to post / interact with others either online or in person.

And for that, I truly am sorry for causing anybody any kind of worry or concern or for coming across in a hostile way as if I was angry at or blaming others.
 
climbingmonkey24 said:
You’re absolutely right here.

Knowing that being under the influence sometimes causes me to say and do things I regret or don’t really mean, I made the conscious decision to still do it anyway with the knowledge that it was a possibility my actions might have a negative effect on others if I chose to post / interact with others either online or in person.

And for that, I truly am sorry for causing anybody any kind of worry or concern or for coming across in a hostile way as if I was angry at or blaming others.
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Thanks for saying that
 
Climbingmonkey24, I just joined yesterday so I don’t know you or your story. When you mentioned suicide and being under the influence, that tugged on my heart strings. While you’re still alive and breathing you have a chance to get better. I know what it’s like to live with the awful and nagging feeling of wishing it to all end. I know what it’s like to be drunk and/or high all of the time as well. I promise you that I’ve had many, many troubles with my mind, outlook, and thinking. Please, please, PLEASE just give yourself the chance. It will get better but you must take the steps to make it so. You can take those steps. You’ll have help along the way. I’m sorry you are going through this.
 
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