Employee attempts to murder co-worker with wood chipper

96coal449 said:
Can you even imagine going feet first. Just watching yourself disappear chip by chip till you loose consciousness. Yikes .... and double yikes.
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It'd be worse if the engine was at full throttle and the drum was not spinning. Then the feed wheels would just keep grinding away at your thighs and stomach, trying to stuff your whole body in that tiny space between the feed wheels and the drum.

Personally, I'd try to avoid this. Think of your co-workers man! Some poor bastard is gonna have to crawl under there to open up that lower feed wheel clean out door to drain the "Ragu that used to be you". (That dude should politely but firmly ask for a raise.)
 
The local I was speaking of still has his chipper .... the same one. OSHA took it and checked it over to see if anything had been altered on it. They gave it back to him with no faults found. I wonder how he felt about cleaning it up. YUCK!!!
 
I wonder who exactly it is that you're supposed to call for advice on this? I mean, you can't just go into the Dollar Store and ask them which of these household cleaners works best on blood, guts and body fluids/remains. The parking lot would be surrounded by a SWAT team when you left. The dealership... probably the same deal. Asking them how to clean a chipper that's had a body run through it? I'm thinking they'll just try to distract you while they make a couple of phone calls.
 
I think I know why your chipper spends so much time parked near the edge of lakes and rivers. Should be some nice, plump fish in there, by now. Let me grab my fishing gear, and you can pick me up on the way.
 
Can you imagine getting searched by a rookie cop with something to prove to himself and his department? He comes back to the truck after searching the chipper for narcotics carrying a jug of ammonia .....
"And what would be the purpose of this?''
"Well officer I like to keep my machine clean!"
 
I remember an old tale of some guy who fed his chipper with his wife. He blew the mess into the Mohawk river and cleaned his chipper. He got caught though.
 
Reminds me of the town a litte, guy with 25 yrs picked a part timer up and was threatening to throw him in the back of the garbage truck with the leaf bags and brush, because the kid was running the handles after each bag
 
96coal449 said:
I remember an old tale of some guy who fed his chipper with his wife. He blew the mess into the Mohawk river and cleaned his chipper. He got caught though.
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The one I read about got caught cuz he cleaned the rental chipper he used too well. Took it back to the rental shop sparkling, they were like "what'd this idiot break?" So they start going over it, and find a finger bone tucked away in a corner. They called the rollers, dude went to jail. Which brings me to my point... always run a load of brush thru afterward.
 
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