Employee attempts to murder co-worker with wood chipper

[Oroboros]

Xander fears no giant.

I might fear Rudy a little. Big ex cop and he's got a crush on me. But I have a crush on him too.

 

[JD3000]

Soon well hear the tiny pitter patter of Orobori feet...

How long do your eggs take to hatch?

 

[TimBr]

It says that he didn't know there was a problem with the guy...
I was assuming he slept with his wife or something.

Suddenly I have interest in becoming mulch after I die rather than ashes. Do any of you know how expensive cremation is? You could rent a nice chipper for a fraction of the cost.

Now that would be a funeral most folks would not soon forget.

 

[JeffGu]

Now that would be a funeral most folks would not soon forget.

It would be like going to a Gallagher concert when he was demonstrating the Sledge-O-Matic on watermelons and gallon tubs of cottage cheese. Everyone in the front rows would need a sheet of plastic.

 

[Brocky]

Drum feed or whipper chipper?

 

[cerviarborist]

And yet recreational marijuana is ok there. Now THAT makes a lot of sense!

Recreational cannabis makes you want to stick your head in the refrigerator, not the chipper.

 

[Limb It]

Recreational cannabis makes you want to stick your head in the refrigerator, not the chipper.

You keep your doritos in the fridge?


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[JD3000]

 

[96coal449]

If the dude was "on pot" he would have been laughing at him, not trying to feed the chipper.
Maybe the defendant didn't pay his debt.

 

[Oroboros]

Soon well hear the tiny pitter patter of Orobori feet...

How long do your eggs take to hatch?

736 years. At the precise orospectral alignment of Queetar and Orimustadt. Rare occurrence but man do we party when it comes around.

 

[Kris Anderson]

Vermeer chipper. His hair would of jammed it before his head went in....
On a serious note though I've worked with people I've hated and throwing them in a chipper is just crazy.

 

[macswan]

It would be like going to a Gallagher concert when he was demonstrating the Sledge-O-Matic on watermelons and gallon tubs of cottage cheese. Everyone in the front rows would need a sheet of plastic.

I love that in this day and age you had to take the time to explain what Gallaghers shtick was. Damn kids don't know dick. Especially how to get an unwilling coworker into a chipper. Just gotta sweep the legs as they feed. Simple procedure. No one wants to do a job right any more. Sign of the times I suppose

 

[JD3000]

@JeffGu...I think we need to recruit Mac...

 

[JeffGu]

we need to recruit Mac...

Yeah... it's hard to find guys with experience and talent, these days. He has the technique down.

No one wants to do a job right any more.

No shit. I mean, who hasn't seen those videos of what happens when a rope goes into a chipper? So, a bowline on the end of a short hank of rope, loop it over his head, throw the other end of the rope into the chipper. You'd think this was rocket science, or something.

 

[96coal449]

This all reminds me of last year at about this time of season. Kid in my area fed himself head first. Poor bastard. RIP

 

[Limb It]

Head first is a whole lot better than feet first.

Also, this thread is starting to look a whole lot like premeditation.

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[96coal449]

Can you even imagine going feet first. Just watching yourself disappear chip by chip till you loose consciousness. Yikes .... and double yikes.

 

[macswan]

Yeah... it's hard to find guys with experience and talent, these days. He has the technique down.



No shit. I mean, who hasn't seen those videos of what happens when a rope goes into a chipper? So, a bowline on the end of a short hank of rope, loop it over his head, throw the other end of the rope into the chipper. You'd think this was rocket science, or something.

Christ I almost fell of the toilet. Woulda been like that Australian chap.

 

[TimBr]

@macswan; @JD3000; @JeffGu; You guys are so wicked.

 

[JD3000]

Chips go in the compost rows. Where's the problem? These hard drugs are ruining todays youth