Clients say the darnest things…(or funny sayings on the job)

A few weeks ago I was taking down some Bradford pears for a rental company. A neighbor had complained about them. One branch tip hit that same neighbor's flower bed that was over grown with weeds. When the neighbor came home from work she became irate and said over and over, "my Sunflowers! ...my babies!" As she pointed to a Pokeweed. I bought her over $100 worth of flowers. None of them are Sunflowers, but I don't think she can tell the difference.

Now my helper randomly points out the truck window and exclaims, "Look Sunflowers!" or, "My babies!"
 
oldoakman said:
So in other words, either you are multilingual, or no one can understand a word you say.
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Pretty much. I get asked where my accent is from a lot, most people ask if I’m from Michigan…

I just tell them my dad’s family is from down south, my mother is a Martin, and I am bilingual. (Guatemalan Spanish). That usually makes them happy enough. Or at least it confuses them enough they quit asking.
 
Treezybreez said:
A few weeks ago I was taking down some Bradford pears for a rental company. A neighbor had complained about them. One branch tip hit that same neighbor's flower bed that was over grown with weeds. When the neighbor came home from work she became irate and said over and over, "my Sunflowers! ...my babies!" As she pointed to a Pokeweed. I bought her over $100 worth of flowers. None of them are Sunflowers, but I don't think she can tell the difference.

Now my helper randomly points out the truck window and exclaims, "Look Sunflowers!" or, "My babies!"
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I did something like that earlier this summer, running the mulcher clearing brush in the woods behind some guy’s house. Neighbor claimed I shredded six Tulip Poplars and four Azaleas, all in a strip about 1’x10’ where I crossed over the property line.

He couldn’t find stumps from anything I allegedly mulched, but I ended up buying him replacement trees. I mail-ordered some 5’ tall bare root trees and bought the largest azaleas I could find, that seemed to make him happy. Neighbors are annoying sometimes.
 
L3VI said:
Climbing around making very small cuts with a handsaw all day and neighbor or passersby "you takin the whole thing down?" Heard that about a million times lol. Yep, stick by stick we takin this thing down!
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This reminds me of one of mine..... not tree related but a neighbor of the client. I am quite sure I posted about this, here on the Buzz, some time ago.

Halfway through ripping a roof off for a replacement, a neighbor comes over from across the street.
"You guys putting a new roof on?"

I reply with a serious look, "No sir, this is a burglary in progress.''
 
Shadowscape said:
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Where did you find this?? So funny.

Treezybreez said:
A few weeks ago I was taking down some Bradford pears for a rental company. A neighbor had complained about them. One branch tip hit that same neighbor's flower bed that was over grown with weeds. When the neighbor came home from work she became irate and said over and over, "my Sunflowers! ...my babies!" As she pointed to a Pokeweed. I bought her over $100 worth of flowers. None of them are Sunflowers, but I don't think she can tell the difference.

Now my helper randomly points out the truck window and exclaims, "Look Sunflowers!" or, "My babies!"
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hilarious.

I like to say ‘my prized petunias!’ with a little bit of a lisp.

One time in Brooklyn we were doing a little trimming and there was ivy all as a ground cover- maybe pachysandra, and I guess we walked on the ivy and weren’t supposed to. We had been working for the gardener. He looks over and says ‘I just fluffed those!!’
 
MA Arborist said:
On more than one occasion (3 different people) a client has asked me if his “wife would fit in the chipper.” They would always crack a smile.
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Anytime someone asks me that I stare at them completely stone-faced and say, "Yes, but you have to de-limb them first.....and it helps to freeze the body to avoid clogging the chute".

That's usually met with an uneasy chuckle and I'm left alone the rest of the day.
 
Boomslang said:
Anytime someone asks me that I stare at them completely stone-faced and say, "Yes, but you have to de-limb them first.....and it helps to freeze the body to avoid clogging the chute".

That's usually met with an uneasy chuckle and I'm left alone the rest of the day.
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Ok haha. I should add that I said something similar the last time I was asked
“You have to freeze her first”
 
levi r said:
Possibly the 3 most triggering words for a tree worker:

"While ... you're ... here"
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And it's usually along the line of "While you're here (pruning my ornamental Japanese maple), do you see that monster tree (think 120ft, 48" dbh) leaning over the house, pool, deck, and RV (that can't be moved because...reasons)? How much would it be to put that as an add-on?"
 
Boomslang said:
And it's usually along the line of "While you're here (pruning my ornamental Japanese maple), do you see that monster tree (think 120ft, 48" dbh) leaning over the house, pool, deck, and RV (that can't be moved because...reasons)? How much would it be to put that as an add-on?"
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How about when they add on a few things but at the end of the day hand you a check for the original work?
 
I was reducing a big basswood in a churchyard, I was directing on the ground and the climber was up there, everything got lowered cos of gravestones, very tricky work.
We had done the top section and were about to move onto the sides, when the vicar came up and expressed his disquiet at what was happening to the tree, thought it looked terrible, which at that point it did.
I reassured him that at the end it would be ok.

We had done the tree, I was sitting in the van and he came up and said ‘I now understand the procedure, and am sorry that I doubted you’
So I said ‘well there is more rejoicing in heaven for one sinner that repents….’

I didn’t know the next line about the host of angels passing through the gates of heaven, but was still pretty pleased with myself, he looked a bit shocked, laughed and congratulated me.
I am 60 now, and I doubt I will say anything as clever or apposite ever again.
 
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levi r said:
Dude! That is crazy. Divorce is always an option before you feel the urge to chip your spouse:sorprendido3:
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It's happened twice in the local parts I was raised in. Both incidents were the owners of the chippers. One was blown into the river for fish food. I don't recall any other details. This is a real thing though. Both are serving life sentences.
 
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