Tree Jokes for 2013!

[sugarlandtrees]

So all the ones I know are corny, but I'll start nonetheless:

How do trees get on the internet?
They log in.

Merry Christmas Guys!

 

[tomthetreeman]

What's the best way to properly ID a Dogwood tree?













By the bark.

 

[Leroy]

Good one Tom, took me a minute.

here's one just I found-

A man walks into a flower shop and discovers something new: a bonsaipalm tree in a pot. As he admires the plant he says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"

 

[tomthetreeman]

What's the best plant to give to your male siblings this Christmas?
















A Bromeliad. (((rimshot)))

 

[sugarlandtrees]

lol @tomthetreenab and @Levi.

Here's one more for the holidays!

What did the beaver say to the tree?
Been nice gnawing ya!

Happy Holidays =)

 

[oceans]

What's brown and sticky?


















A stick!

 

[oceans]

Who wears a fine suit while climbing a tree?


















The branch manager.

 

[oceans]

What did the lateral say to the terminal?


















"What's up, bud?"

 

[macswan]

Hahahahahahahaha. The stick was the highlight there

 

[tomthetreeman]

My advice to Oceans:

Keep your day job.

-Tom

 

[oceans]

Oh yeah, Tom? Yeah? Well here's one for ya...

What do you call a pirate in a tree?
















An arrrrrrrrrrrborist!

 

[simplyarbor]

What do oaks do for fun at night?

















Garry-oakie!

 

[tomthetreeman]

Why do oak trees always complain about their offspring?





















Because they're all nuts.

 

[marlinspiker]

[ QUOTE ]
Oh yeah, Tom? Yeah? Well here's one for ya...

What do you call a pirate in a tree?
















An arrrrrrrrrrrborist!

[/ QUOTE ]

oh dude i love pirate jokes!

 

[Worthaug]

Here's a classic.
A birch and a beech standing next to each other one day looked down and saw a new tree sprouting. Is that a son of a birch or a son of a beech? The birch asked. I'm not sure said the beech. Then a woodpecker visited the new sprout and flew up to the birch. Is that a son of a birch or a son of a beech? Asked the beech. I'm not sure said the woodpecker but that's the nicest piece of ash I've ever stuck my pecker in.


Crickets...

 

[oceans]

Dude, that had me laughing out loud.

 

[oceans]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Oh yeah, Tom? Yeah? Well here's one for ya...

What do you call a pirate in a tree?

An arrrrrrrrrrrborist!

[/ QUOTE ]

oh dude i love pirate jokes!

[/ QUOTE ]

Mike, don't even ask me how I know of this...just don't. I'll just say that my brother shared it with me a long time ago:

http://www.realultimatepower.net/index4.htm

If you dig around enough, you'll see the hysterical animosity within the Ninja/Pirate dichotomy.

 

[tomthetreeman]

Lee Van Cleef, Master Ninja:

 

[oceans]

How many pirates has he slain?

 

[tomthetreeman]

You would have to ask him. He is in a hut at the top of Mt. Van Cleef. In Lotus position.

Tom