Stupid homeowner questions

[Jeff]

What are some of the winners you've heard? Here's mine from today:

Climbed and removed a previously topped ~20" red maple in a backyard. The retirement aged homeowners watched with great interest, but you could tell they were concerned we might scuff their threadbare lawn, damage something or otherwise stiff them and so needed close attention. When I started grinding the stump, they pointed out several times that they wanted ALL the surface roots removed. My assurances that I had been so instructed by the boss did nothing to assuage their concerns, so they came down several times to point out roots (I hadn't gotten to yet) or to sift thru the pile of grindings to make sure we weren't hiding something. Sheesh! Anyway, we get all done grinding and while cleaning up, the woman (who watched the entire process!) asks "Where did the stump go?"

Uhh... Stump heaven?
See, the roots are what keeps them attached to the ground. Once you saw around them with this grinder, they just fly away.

One of the guys finally picked up a handful of chips and said "It's right here!" in a not quite too smart ass tone of voice.

 

[Webster]

Lol gotta love em picky people.

 

[96coal449]

How are you going to remove my tree? With rope.
Do you have a bucket truck? ...... How are you going to get up there? With rope.
What do you do with the chips in the truck? Dump them.
Do you want to do the removal for the wood? I don't need firewood.

Of course my replies are not that blatant and point blank but you get the idea.

 

[tc262]

Customer: How much will this cost if I keep all the wood?
Me: X amount of dollars.
Customer: How much less will it be if you take all the wood?
Me: It will cost you X amount more.
Customer: But don't you sell the firewood?
Me: Not really but when I do the "wood" part is free
Customer interrupts: Huhh?
Me: What you will have there is logs, not firewood. The wood part of the firewood is free, what makes it ready for the fire is the cutting, splitting, drying, and delivery and is why I charge for "firewood" and "wood" is free, me loading and hauling it away is not.

 

[Brocky]

Plus you have to add the handling charges. Yes plural charges, as you handle the same piece many times before it is finally delivered.

 

[GregManning]

Be a little careful, and gracious, there guys with these "older" folks.
We're all going to get there someday.

Most of them probably know a lot more than you on some other subject.
We all start learning somewhere on the knowledge curve.

I'm not a professional arborist.
But I always tell people, "I love questions".
Part of the job, is to educate people. They probably won't repeat the question or statement next time.

Personally, I'm well on the way toward being "older" folks !

I'm just say'in ................... ;-)

All the best, Keep it Safe.
Ciao for Now !

 

[Jehinten]

I was working on a maple removal the other day. Had the bucket truck running and chipper going, and about 3/4 of the top out of the tree. While I was down helping clean up before dropping more a neighbor came by and asked "Do you guys cut down trees?"

 

[GregManning]

Have you ever asked a rhetorical question ?
One you already knew the answer to ? just to start a conversation ?

Think about the last time you used a plumber, electrician, computer tech, doctor, ...............

I quit.

 

[tc262]

I was working on a maple removal the other day. Had the bucket truck running and chipper going, and about 3/4 of the top out of the tree. While I was down helping clean up before dropping more a neighbor came by and asked "Do you guys cut down trees?"

When I get asked that I just want to respond, "no I only do this to get into a lot of crotches"

 

[96coal449]

Once in the middle of a roof job I was asked by a neighbor down the street, " You do roofing?''
As I restrained from laughing I said "No, this is a burglary in process. I'm gaining access." After the guy and I stopped laughing we walked to his house for an estimate. I could tell by his dress code and the beer in his hand I could get away with it.

 

[Jeff]

The chainsaws weren't running yet, but the truck and chipper were set up on the tree victim and the bucket was headed up towards it. "Are you the driveway guys?"
Yeah, the boss watches the job from the bucket so he can tell us what spots need more asphalt!"

 

[Jeff]

I was working on a maple removal the other day. Had the bucket truck running and chipper going, and about 3/4 of the top out of the tree. While I was down helping clean up before dropping more a neighbor came by and asked "Do you guys cut down trees?"

Anyone ever watch Bill Engvall? "Here's your sign"

 

[JD3000]

Morbidly obese man, chain smoking, swilling Busch tallboys before noon, "That stuff gonna give us cancer?"

 

[Jeff]

Kinda like:

 

[JeffGu]

Poor Mellissa... she get's a little goofy like that after a long day of smokin' crack and huffin' paint.

 

[evo]

Not too long ago, while pruning a oak in a park I was asked with a pissed off tone "Why are you cutting down THAT tree!?" My response was, "I get paid by the hour, and that's why I'm all the way out on the tips of these branches with a handsaw! Just taking my time." Windy, rainy day and very grumpy...

 

[arborcareidaho]

"That chipper looks fun, can my son put some branches in it?"
NO he can not.

 

[pro94lt]

The best are when the neighborhood drunk walks in the drop done and says he was gonna drop the 90' tree hanging over the house 40' from the high voltage lines... or

 

[96coal449]

The neighbor .... I'll take some firewood if you can block it up to 16'' pieces and bring it over to me.

 

[Webster]

Up hill and perfectly stacked lol