Tom's Rewrite of "Happiness Sold Separately" :
Noah Orch (Tom): Honey, I'm home!
Elinor (Julia), standing in bedroom door: Come here, you big hunk!
Noah (Tom) - (with a gleam in his eye): Hey, I'll be right back. I found these "mooring snubbers" on a marine supply website! (runs out to the red Bronco, which never sold, grabs snubbers, returns to hall) Look! You run a 1/2 inch line, 16 strand, 24, kernmantel, whatever, through one end, wrap it 3 times around the...
Elinor (Julia), sobbing: Why can't you just be the dull hunky arborist I thought I was getting when we first met?
Noah (Tom): No, wait! See, you run it through the other end, then attach the standing part...
Elinor (Julia), swooning now: Oh, Tom, I mean Noah...just hold me, hold me!
(Fade as camera centers on 24" dbh Buckeye, with nicely subordinated competing leader, visible through bedroom window; sounds of smooching, etc.