Anxiety / Hesitancy about Climbing Bigger and Taller Trees

climbingmonkey24

Carpal tunnel level member
Location
United States
I consider myself a competent climber. I trust in my ability and knowledge. But I still struggle with more anxiety / nervousness in bigger trees.

When I first started climbing in my yard years ago recreationally when I was first learning before I started doing tree care, I used to climb to the tippy tops of all the large trees in my yard and felt fairly comfortable. Somehow, that's changed where I feel less comfortable now then I did when I first started.

I literally sometimes get anxious thinking about climbing to the tops of those same trees. As a matter of fact, a while ago I tried climbing one of those same trees, a leaner that I had climbed to the very top multiple times years ago and sat up there for a while taking in the view, and this time around I was too nervous about something bad happening to be able to make it up even 3/4 of the way. What if the tree breaks in half? What if it can't support my weight because it's a leaner?

I looked at this job today trimming these oaks, and I was hesitant, doubting I could climb the trees, tempted to suggest they find someone else or need someone with a bucket truck or lift, when very clearly I could climb these trees.

For some reason I feel much more comfortable in a smaller-medium sized tree then I do in bigger trees with bigger wood, even though it could be the same job. And there is risk whether you are 20ft off the ground or 90ft. But it's gotten worse to the point that when I am up in a tree, I sometimes start having thoughts of what if the tree fails, what if it tips over, what if something bad happens, and I used to not have this much anxiety when I was first learning to climb.

I would argue I have had much more anxiety in the last year and half to two years what with one thing or another, so I wonder if maybe that is carrying over into my work.

I don't know, just felt like getting this off my chest.


I think maybe I lack confidence / doubt my ability.

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I usually recall some of the insane winds these trees have stood up to over the last year or so.
My 200lb carcass bobbing around up there ain’t nothing, so long as I’m putting some thought into tie in points, bounce testing, and policing up any slack as it comes into the system.

Some stuff maybe you should be nervous about climbing. This anxiety might have saved your life already. Definitely don’t skimp on the assessment.
 
But I also doubt my ability to even be able to climb up the tree, like how am I gonna get up there? Am I gonna be able to get a good shot and solid TIP because it branches out into multiple leaders? On a smaller tree I don’t really question it, but double the size and it suddenly seems way different.

I don’t know why I lack such confidence.
 
I have noticed I have a lot less confidence and more fear of heights than I had when younger, but it may just be my age and the fact that I am not in the same shape I was twenty years ago. I had zero fear of heights as a young man and worked at all sorts of dangerous stuff, often with what would now be considered extremely substandard gear. But now I have a real problem with heights that I am having to overcome with my rec climbing. Specifically, I feel OK if I am at height as long as there are lots of limbs around and below me. Doesn't matter how high. But it really bothers me now to ascend a tall straight tree where the first limbs to reach are way the hell up there. Once I ascend, and get past some limbs so that I have some below me, I am OK, but I really have to force myself to make it that far. It has gotten only slightly better even after many dozens of climbs the last 3-1/2 years. I keep at it because I enjoy a challenge and it is fantastic exercise, but it really takes gritting my teeth and making myself go for it. A tall straight limbless climb is not fun for me at all compared to a big spreading canopy full of limbs to play among, even if the view is incredible. Maybe the uncertainty and stress the last couple years with this sodding pandemic, the homelessness and loss of work for so many, etc. has affected us all.
 
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Specifically, I feel OK if I am at height as long as there are lots of limbs around and below me. Doesn't matter how high. But it really bothers me now to ascend a tall straight tree where the first limbs to reach are way the hell up there. Once I ascend, and get past some limbs so that I have some below me, I am OK, but I really have to force myself to make it that far.
Your description gives me the impression that it's the perceived exposure of being at height that's causing anxiety. When nothing solid is close by, that sensation of hanging in open space can become unnerving.

I've had a little taste of that climbing out of a 586 ft cave pit. When you're in the middle of the ascent, the rope disappears into darkness both above and below you (even with a high power headlamp) and the nearest wall is 15+ ft away. Just have to trust your gear and rigging and keep climbing.

Perhaps you can desensitize yourself by rigging a rope so it hangs in the clear for a good distance. Ascend as high as you feel comfortable, stay there a while, then descend. Repeat multiple times and see if you don't climb higher over time. Once you feel okay making that climb to the top, repeat in another tree.

My wife is okay rappelling and ascending in a cave since it's dark and you don't get the sensation of being at height like you do outdoors. She has no interest whatsoever in rappelling off a bluff or cliff. Maybe you could emulate her by trying a climb after dark wearing a headlamp.
 
First off nothing is wrong with using your head, double-taking, and reassuring yourself in each climb.
As mentioned, I also take into consideration what theses trees have withstood prior to climbing, and what comparable impact I would have.
Also, I have always been a “high risk” taker to the extent of motorcycles and skydiving, but at 30 with a wife and 4 kids, I use much more caution in decision making and risk taking.
With trees, every tree is a different animal.
I’ve felt safer in a tree that’s been dead a while rather than certain positions in live trees.
I actually had my first shut down the other day on a co-dom pine tree. There were a few bad places down low, and as I climbed to the split there were more noticeable weak areas. I climbed down and we used the lift instead, although it took bringing it in the next day.
No tree is worth the glory or anything else if it becomes your last tree.

Stay safe and keep using your head brother.
 
Could this "fear" instead be considered a healthy, life-saving instinct? Every tree I get to the top of makes me think "This is insane." I don't always feel that fear, but it seems like something inside you is telling you something important.
 
I consider myself a competent climber. I trust in my ability and knowledge. But I still struggle with more anxiety / nervousness in bigger trees.

When I first started climbing in my yard years ago recreationally when I was first learning before I started doing tree care, I used to climb to the tippy tops of all the large trees in my yard and felt fairly comfortable. Somehow, that's changed where I feel less comfortable now then I did when I first started.

I literally sometimes get anxious thinking about climbing to the tops of those same trees. As a matter of fact, a while ago I tried climbing one of those same trees, a leaner that I had climbed to the very top multiple times years ago and sat up there for a while taking in the view, and this time around I was too nervous about something bad happening to be able to make it up even 3/4 of the way. What if the tree breaks in half? What if it can't support my weight because it's a leaner?

I looked at this job today trimming these oaks, and I was hesitant, doubting I could climb the trees, tempted to suggest they find someone else or need someone with a bucket truck or lift, when very clearly I could climb these trees.

For some reason I feel much more comfortable in a smaller-medium sized tree then I do in bigger trees with bigger wood, even though it could be the same job. And there is risk whether you are 20ft off the ground or 90ft. But it's gotten worse to the point that when I am up in a tree, I sometimes start having thoughts of what if the tree fails, what if it tips over, what if something bad happens, and I used to not have this much anxiety when I was first learning to climb.

I would argue I have had much more anxiety in the last year and half to two years what with one thing or another, so I wonder if maybe that is carrying over into my work.

I don't know, just felt like getting this off my chest.


I think maybe I lack confidence / doubt my ability.

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Those trees look fun. Get your ass up there. Fight the fear. You will get over it. Stop looking down often. Look across. Pick solid TIPs and Canobase. You will get through this stage.
 
You get a well deserved chuck on the shoulder for bringing up a topic that most climbers have faced...but not talked about.

Lots of good advice so far.

What you're feeling is the arborist version of writer's block or golfers yips. You might find great value getting in contact with a sports medicine clinic and find a councilor to talk with. If you live in an area that has lots of rock climbing like the 'gunks in NY, Boulder, Yosemite...you get the drift...you might contact a climbing gym or club for a referance.

YOu've shared a lot. Please share what you find out on your journey.
 
There can be subtle, physiological triggers for this anxiety, as well as spill-over anxiety from other life stressors. I’ve experienced both, and it’s frustrating, right, because you’re wondering where your confidence went?

If you don’t get routine blood work, I recommend it. Also do a testosterone test. There are so many chemicals in our foods and environment that wreak havoc on our hormones.

Find good counsel on wellness. I tend to avoid md’s for this. Right now I’m working with a functional medicine doctor. While I’m sure some may be worthy of skepticism, the right one can be gold.

Otherwise, as mentioned above, find someone to talk to about life.

Lastly, voice your fears to coworkers, your team, or teams you contract with while you’re climbing. It’s anti-image, but it helps. When my head gets the best of me, I say so, and it helps me conquer it. Contrary to our people fear, it builds the team’s respect for me. It also makes it easier for them to conquer their fears, because they see it as a normal part of the process, not a personal block to advancement in their skill set. I’m a contract climber, so this is SO counterculture, but it is healthy, and has strengthened my business.
 
I have had some shut down moments in straightforward, low risk (but huge) trees. The transition to winter, when all the leaves are gone, fucks with my head for a while on large trees. White pines just give me the creeps too. I recognize some of these fears are not grounded in actual risk. Many fears are justified and can be translated into proactive risk management- are my slic pins all the way in? Is this friction hitch grabbing well? Is this the best safest TIP I could have for the work? Should I put a tie back on this tree? Etc.

Staring at your (newish) ring and bridge, or your nick-free rope, wondering if it’s going to hold you? Definitely not helpful.

Working with a crew of competent professionals always takes my head out of the fear feedback loop- good advice, good ideas, cumulative experience and ability to assess risks together. Working with less trained groundies, when I have no one to talk to about what I am seeing and experiencing, is when I’m like, hmm. If you have some opportunities to work with other experienced professionals, there’s really no substitute.
 
I had this moment in 2014. I was working in Rhode Island one day in a large white oak pruning with another climber. It was summer and very humid and hot, I started to feel claustrophobic and confused. I came down and called it. That night I started to think about my newborn child Lucy who was diagnosed with down's syndrome. My fear of dying and leaving her for my wife to care for alone was just overwhelming. Being that I was away from her climbing was probably the trigger. I decided to leave early and return to Barbados. On return I was able to shake off the irrational behavior and fear. Plain and simple I challenged it, our minds are our worst enemies at times. As said, talk therapy can work wonders in these cases.
 
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I usually recall some of the insane winds these trees have stood up to over the last year or so.
My 200lb carcass bobbing around up there ain’t nothing, so long as I’m putting some thought into tie in points, bounce testing, and policing up any slack as it comes into the system.

Some stuff maybe you should be nervous about climbing. This anxiety might have saved your life already. Definitely don’t skimp on the assessment.
^nailed it.
 
To the OP. Maybe this anxiety comes from more knowledge and experiences…..? When you were up and coming could it have been a “ignorance is bliss” situation?, now that you’ve possibly seen total tree or branch failures, you are more versed in the possibilities? I attended a interesting lecture by Phil Kelly at TCIA, about anchor points, and how we choose them. This brought up some interesting thoughts, and challenges much of the way we arborist think. If you can, I’d try and search this out and watch it. Also Richard Mumford put on YouTube an interesting (however boring to watch) thought on branch failures while climbing, also worth a watch. I myself go through phases, do I get down on myself about being anxious or nervous about going by higher? Hell no I don’t… those unexplainable instincts are what have kept our species safe/alive for as long as we have. The thing of it is, you’ll never know if it was the wrong decision until it’s too late, otherwise in my book it’s always the right decision.
 
I'd you've ever gotten a throwline hung and tried pulling on it thinking the line or that little branch would break only to find you need to come up with another plan, that should provide some comfort. (Of course, I wouldn't expect to break high tensile throwline without ample MA.)
 
I had this moment in 2014. I was working in Rhode Island one day in a large white oak pruning with another climber. It was summer and very humid and hot, I started to feel claustrophobic and confused. I came down and called it. That night I started to think about my newborn child Lucy who was diagnosed with down's syndrome. My fear of dying and leaving her for my wife to care for alone was just overwhelming. Being that I was away from her climbing was probably the trigger. I decided to leave early and return to Barbados. On return I was able to shake off the irrational behavior and fear. Plain and simple I challenged it, our minds are our worst enemies at times. As said, talk therapy can work wonders in these cases.
Thanks for sharing this. With first baby imminent I’ve been wondering how this will affect my mindset. Was thinking I’d make a separate thread about that soon.
 
Thanks for sharing this. With first baby imminent I’ve been wondering how this will affect my mindset. Was thinking I’d make a separate thread about that soon.
A friend of mine became almost entirely unproductive when his wife was expecting, but once his daughter was born he was fine.
 

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