Smh, I get no respect... It was found on a midsommer's eve, five degrees paralaxed from a dead snorlaxe's axes. I pried it from the jowls of a sleeping (insert made up creature name), but misfortune showed its twisted visage and I unknowingly absconded into the lair of a (insert made up creature name here) hence I was trussed like a climber whose foot ascender hath met their multicender. I was caste into the infernal pit of gloom, ablaze with the void, where eyes of cerulean depths discerned my purpose. There, on a weathered stohn, the scroll of Bandit I unfurled to the chorus of maligned voices that still haunts me so.
Roughly translated, I googled that shit like a boss.