One Minute Inside An Arborist's Head

Frax

Frax

Participating member
Location
Expat now in Chapel Hill, NC by way of Calgary, Al
One Minute Inside An Arborist\'s Head

Crazy Old Bat Episode

Arborist: Good morning ma-am, we are here to prune your crab apple tree.

Crazy Old Bat: Well young man (lady), I hope you cut it much harder than you did last time! It’s totally out of hand!

Arborist: I see that it sure has grown. We will reduce some of that width hanging into the pathway and…

Crazy Old Bat: Young man, I want that thing cut hard! See those old cuts my husband made when he was alive. I wouldn’t have to pay for such expensive work if he was still here.

Arborist: (Killed himself did he...).
Back to those stumps? That will seriously harm the tree ma’am. We can do some thinning on those knuckles and do a some crown shaping….
(Hat-rack Harry, RIP man).

Crazy Old Bat: You’re not listening young man! What’s so hard to understand about cutting off what I’m telling you to do!

Arborist: You’re asking me to do something that will be harmful, ma’am. I can’t do that. We will lower the crown enough to make sure the power to your house is clear and that you get a little more sun and a bit of a view back…

Crazy Old Bat: I don’t care about those things. It’s just too big! It’s out of hand (shriek).

Arborist: Well we’ll cut it back as hard as we think the tree can handle ma’am.
(What’s she need anyway, take-off clearance for her broom?…jeez).

Crazy Old Bat: I’ll be watching. Make sure to cut it hard!

Arborist: OK ma’am. We’ll get started.
(Minimum price job my A55.…)
 
Re: One Minute Inside An Arborist\'s Head

I get this a lot, I try to keep cool but it gets old. I would like to tell the "Bat" or whoever if they want to hack there trees hire a hack, but that would be conter productive so I try to use lots of big words and woo them with my wit. Usually works too.
 
Re: One Minute Inside An Arborist\'s Head

Welcome to my world!

I like when they come out after youre done and tell you it looks like you didn't do anything. I love/hate ornamental pruning. I prefer when the client just plain isn't home!
 
Re: One Minute Inside An Arborist\'s Head

I like to get out the big saw and make one swift cut on these. Then you ask if that's low enough.
 
Re: One Minute Inside An Arborist\'s Head

I just love it when they talk like that...some of my favorite responses if they don't listen to reason:

"Why don't you want a complete removal?"
"OK, but we have an extra charge of $500 to ruin a tree."
"I'm sorry, who's the Arborist?"
"You don't need a professional for that kind of pruning. Just call _______, I think he has a new machete."

I usually try to be professional. But since we're not going to get the job anyway...
 
Re: One Minute Inside An Arborist\'s Head

[ QUOTE ]
What happened after you were done? lol!

[/ QUOTE ]

Ha! I think we got lucky. I'm not the foreman and usually just observing the dialog.
She went out to do some grocery shopping. Not sure if there was a call back or not.
I have a whole bunch of these "One Minutes" that I've gathered. Maybe I'll share "Scary Cougar" and "Tough Old Geezer" episodes later on. Or "Crazy Italian Lady".. That one is classic too.
I bet you all have some great HO stories. Would love to hear them. It was Phil's sort of rant about the guy cutting what he was already cutting that got me started on this....
Way of venting. We all need it sometimes.
 
Re: One Minute Inside An Arborist\'s Head

We had a PITA (Pain in the A@#) charge for folks that I knew were going to take more time or become a problem for me or the crews. Adjusted to their attitude and volume.

I also "loved" the folks who asked, "Is this the best price you can give me?"

My responses, depending on the situation:

"No, the better price is about $300 more. Oh, for you..."

"Yes. If you want it lower we'll just do less work."

"If you don't like this one, you're gonna hate the next one."

"What do you do for a living? Do you give away your work?" or "Will you do your work for less than it's worth?"

"I'm sorry, I don't start with a 'what can I get away with' price"
 
Re: One Minute Inside An Arborist\'s Head

Yeah some jobs are best scheduled when the client is gone.

Crazy Old Bat: Well young man (lady), I hope you cut it much harder than you did last time! It’s totally out of hand!

Arborist: I see ... We will... and…

Crazy Old Bat: Young man, I want that thing cut hard! See those old cuts my husband made when he was alive. I wouldn’t have to pay for such expensive work if he was still here.

Arborist: ... That will ... We can... and ...

Crazy Old Bat: **You’re not listening** ..

Arborist: ... that will ... I can’t ... We will ... and ...

Crazy Old Bat: I don’t care about those things. It’s just too big! It’s out of hand (shriek).

Arborist: Well we’ll ..
(**What’s she need** ...

The challenge is asking before educating, and listening to their needs/objectives, and adapting the work to them. That gets the conversation away from you and the tree and this adversarial tone and toward them, where the decision belongs.
Why is it too big? compared to...?
How would it look relative to those other trees if we pruned them this way? that way?
How would it look if we filled these open spaces with shrubs, or allowed those other plants to grow larger and more natural, so the crab would not look so big?
Would you like us to apply a growth regulator that could cut growth rate in half for 3 years?

Maybe the guy tried all these, and more. Some folks really get fixated; most will get off the tree-and-thee subject when we turn the talk toward everyone's favorite subjects: ourselves, and our objectives.
cool.gif
 
Re: One Minute Inside An Arborist\'s Head

Hey Guy

I find it's quite different when I am on an assigned crew to fulfull a specific work order vs discussing jobs with a potential customer.
If I am visiting a potential customer on my own or the company's behalf, it's much easier. We can have a discussion. I can talk about alternatives. I have never had occasion for a potential customer discussion escalate or get crabby no matter how odd or extreme a request might be. It has always worked out great, and I think customers appreciate kind thoughful, respectful education about trees.

My story which I meant as funny but obviously didn't come across that way was where I was on an assigned work crew. The parts I wrote in brackets are supposed to be thoughts - not said out loud. (I couldn't figure out how to invoke the italics code thingy)

Sometimes the work order does not match the customer expectation once we get there. Miscommunication or incomplete communication somewhere. Anyway, I always keep my mouth shut. My foreman always does an excellent job of managing the customer as best as possible while still trying to fulfill the work order as best as can be done.
 
Re: One Minute Inside An Arborist\'s Head

Nora, your post was understood, as is the perspective of silently observing talks like these. That's why i stunk as an employee; too hard to shut up.

my unfunny followup was, if the work order is generated and written in A300-type specs, that whole discussion is avoided, moot. If the work order typically says like "prune crabapple" that's gonna result in trouble.

"...the work order does not match the customer expectation once we get there. Miscommunication or incomplete communication somewhere." Exactly--the broken link is the vaguely written work order.

Sorry to be a wet blanket; prepping for A300 mtg. so that's a very different perspective. The sales folk could be writing more detail. With practice this does not take long.

3. Select Pruning Method(s) and Create Specification(s) to accomplish the objective(s). (Location and size are required.)
Clean (Pruning to remove one or more of the following non-beneficial parts: dead, diseased, and/or broken branches).
Location: _________________________
Size range of parts to be removed: _________________________
Other: _________________________
Raise (Selective pruning to provide vertical clearance).
Clearance distance:_________________________
Location: _________________________
Size range of parts to be removed: _________________________
Other: _________________________
Reduce (Selective pruning to decrease height and/or spread).
Location/Clearance: _________________________
Size range of parts to be removed: _________________________
Other: _________________________
Thin (Selective pruning to reduce density of live branches).
Location: _________________________
Percentage of foliage to be removed: _________________________
Other: _________________________
 
Re: One Minute Inside An Arborist\'s Head

[ QUOTE ]
Welcome to my world!

I like when they come out after youre done and tell you it looks like you didn't do anything. I love/hate ornamental pruning. I prefer when the client just plain isn't home!

[/ QUOTE ]

Sometimes, if the person is home, they'll say... "You really took a lot out of there." If the person isn't home they will sometimes say, "It doesn't look like you did much."

So, to avoid situations like these... I now take photos of before/after. And I make sure I get a photo of all the debris in the ground. This way, if they say, "You really didn't take much out." I can show them a photo of all that came out of the tree.

I haven't yet had to defend my moderate pruning style. But, I'm ready now!
pbj.gif


smirk.gif
 
Re: One Minute Inside An Arborist\'s Head

Frax,

That made me laugh!

Call this one: Crusty Old Skinflint.

Work order was really quite specific. Reduce Birch to strong lateral at height of roof peak. Deadwood. Thin upper crown by 25%. Cut left side branches to good laterals inside neighbour's fence.

I would not have touched a thing if it were my tree, no need, but I didn't sell the job, who am I to say? Just an Arborist, climbing for my pay.

So I start with my pole-saw on the left side over the fence. Easy. Couple more directional pole-pruner cuts, fence is clear.

Crusty is standing right there behind me, smoking a cigarette, so I start giving him a run-down of events.

"Ok! Fence is clear for your neighbour, now I'll head on up. Please keep your distance, be some head-knockers coming down."

Crusty says nothing, flicks his butt to the sidewalk, fishes another lung dart out of his pack.

I get a decent throw, haul up my line. "There that'll get me 2/3rds the way there, I'll alternate my line with my lanyard on up."

I was thinking Old Crusty might be interested, but he just hauled a deeeep drag and exhaled through his nose.

And so it went. I knocked out deadwood on my way up. "OK, there's the dead gone, on to the top!" Nothing. Smoke.

I hated to take out the top, no reason, but there was a good lateral at roof height, handsaw, snap-cut, toss, stub-cut. "There's your reduction sir, right where you wanted, correct?"

I was sure I got a knod before Crusty coughed, hacked, turned his back, heaved and spat a wad of Lucky-sauce toward the driveway, I swear it skipped twice before it lodged against the wheel of our chipper.

All that was left was thinning the crown, I'd already made that plan on my way up, so it went pretty fast, and easy to do with my rope in above me.

"OK, there's the crown thinned, I've especially focused on crossing and rubbing branches to get there."

Ash dropped off his cigarette, the ember glowing brightly with the next luxurious inhalation.

I rappelled the rest of the way down. I was beginning to wonder if he was a deaf/mute.

I hit the ground. Unclipped. "So there we are, height reduced, crown thinned, deadwood gone, fence-line cleared, all in a days work."

Crusty stood there, just breathing now, not smoking, though I could hear his lungs rattling like wax-paper.

I removed my hitch from my line, my 'biner as well, thinking, "Maybe he's already had his larnyx removed, can't speak at all, cancer all through his throat, how sad."

I hauled my rope and 'saver out of the tree. The instant, the very instant it hit the ground I heard:

"Y-cough-hack-You-khack-hack-You're not done yet!"

"How so sir?"

"Not for - hack- $275 you're not done. Cough-Hack. I expect more for $275. Hack - wretch - sputum flying. Get back up there and do more!"

Crusty lit another cigarette to ease his pain.

I had a minute inside my Arborists head to decide that I just should have made my work look harder, should have made it a struggle, a battle, I had been too elegant, fluid and at ease. Crusty thought it would be hard work, great theatre. Then I had an epiphany, of sorts.

I called my groundie over, and asked to bum a smoke. He looked at me a bit strange, but gave me one. I lit it up and coughed and hacked.

"Thanks for the smoke, Jimmy. I'll need it if I gotta go all the way up there again. I still, cough, (inhale) cough, think we got what you wanted here, sir."

"Yeah, yeah, looks good. Cough, wheeze, wretch, hack, spit."

-------------------

Bizarre what a customer really wants sometimes.

Northwind
 
Re: One Minute Inside An Arborist\'s Head

Trees are good.

Trees need care (including pruning).

Arborists care for trees, despite some tree owners' interference
 
Re: One Minute Inside An Arborist\'s Head

[ QUOTE ]
I bet you all have some great HO stories. Would love to hear them. It was Phil's sort of rant about the guy cutting what he was already cutting that got me started on this....
Way of venting. We all need it sometimes.

[/ QUOTE ]

I've got some good ones I've always thought about sharing, but being the business owner; always thought posting about an idiot or difficult customer on a public forum might be a bad thing to do.

I've been wanting to post on tree buzz for the last two years to ask if other users thought it would be a good idea to have a forum on here that was "members only", (must sign in with user ID name before you could read a "hidden" forum) called "VENT ABOUT IT", or something like that. Where we could vent about a terrible customer or maybe even co-workers or bosses; if they never get on the buzz.

I haven't read this whole thread, it'll have to be another night, I just wanted to mention this since it kinda came up.

later,
 
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