Life in the temperate zone...

JeffGu said:
It does, indeed. The wind blows and you hear the old Twilight Zone series theme song. Tourists are so creeped out, when they stop at Casey's for gas they just throw large bills on the counter so they can get back in their cars and leave quicker. Wreckage from crashed UFOs and airliners that disappeared over the Bermuda Triangle in the '60s is scattered in the cornfields. You have to dodge potholes, cosmic vortexes and sinkholes to Hell on what passes for city streets. We have bible thumpers standing on one corner, selling the Good Book and rubber chickens, and Satanic Cultists on the opposite corner speaking Latin in reverse and selling dildos. The mayor is a Swedish pig farmer and the city council wear black hoods at the meetings. The pizza parlor has a dungeon where they keep the children and the pedophiles... no, wait... that was somewhere/somebody else.

There was that old Hotel Hello out on the edge of town, with the burned out letter "o" on their neon sign, where they planted tourists like potatoes, and havested them with a tractor. I'm pretty sure it burned down years ago and they built a chicken nuggets factory on the site.

Yeah, it's a lot like Ohio, really. I hate to admit it.
Click to expand...
There's no tourists in Nebraska...
 
So the wife heads out to get some household shopping done and to get a jump on Christmas shopping. She had 40% off at Kohl's and figured that's a damn good reason to start holiday shopping for our boys.

Kohl's no longer accepts their own coupons to be applied towards toys, games, and whatnot. That's some damn fine Holiday Spirit right there folks. Let the Christmas Price Gouging Season begin?

Think your gonna see some spooky ghouls and goblins on All Hallow's Eve in a few? That's nothing compared to the creatures that will be inhabiting our finer purveyors of holiday goods. Knife fights over Pooh Bear and Harry Potter wands....Fa lalalala lalala!

Hallelujah, holy shit.
 
Xmas shopping? Hell, I haven't even bought my Halloween booze, yet. And I need a couple of cases of cheap beer to pass out to the kiddies.

I got the wife a nice costume... a grass skirt, sandals, and a Viking helmet with horns. Nothing else required. Should scare the holy bejeezuz out of the little begging bastards.
 
Wow. What a tome of meteorological observations and predictions while also having enough relevance for the youngsters who have their finger on the pulse of humanity.

Will there be a second act entitled Ridiculous Slush? Sign me up for a signed copy.
 
I've always wondered... is his ghost in a wheelchair? Because, that would mean that his wheelchair has a ghost, too. So, it must have a soul, right? Does it say, "Oooohhhooooo... spoooooky!" or does it just squeak in a haunting, eerie manner?
 
No wheel chair. Just a red, white, and blue skin tight outfit and a cape. It's more disturbing than the whole ghost thing but you can't talk logic with spirits.
 
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