And another one.... (I love nonfiction writing)
“Thank you for calling Ruby Tuesday’s, Battlefield Mall, home of the hand crafted burger, this is Brian, would you like to try our mall delivery today?” This is how it starts. I just walked into my place of employment, Ruby Tuesday’s, and Brian, my manager was answering the phone. Yes, apparently Tuesday’s Corporate thinks that a gigantic run-on sentence is a perfect way to make the guest feel like they are calling family. I do not think that is true, but no one asked me. I just work here.
I am greeted as normal. Rachel, our “smiling people greeter”, (or spooger, as I like to call it) is at the front. She makes a fake grimace.
“Oh, you’re here again? God, what does it take to get rid of you?” This is Rachel’s normal greeting for me. She is joking, I think… Oh well, moving on. The normal group is crowding around table 401, the unofficial official employee table. This is where everyone gathers to eat their food, roll silverware, and swap gossip. The table is entirely too close to the bar, and there is limited space for cross traffic. Which of course to a bunch of restaurant employees means that it is the perfect location to crowd. I have to basically yell “MOVE!” to get through.
“Did you hear about Survivor? It is divided by race this time…” One of the servers just said this to another. I think it was Ann, but I do not know who she is talking to. Why do people watch reality TV anyway? Working a shift in this place is enough drama for me.
I head for the back to clock in. I forgot my card again, so I have to track down Brian one more time in order obtain a new one. Brian of course gives me the third degree on way I do not have my card. I respond that I dropped it in the garbage disposal. He believes me, for some reason. I am going to have to use that one again sometime.
Work starts as normal. Stocking, filling glasses, and the early complaints of the shift. Sarah, one of my good friends comes to the back, and starts talking to Tessa.
“So this guy at my table just told his son that if he does not eat his broccoli he will get scurvy!” Sarah said as she put her glasses into the rack. We all hang out in the back when good gossip is being passed. This keeps tables from overhearing.
There is a sudden crash.
“Man Down!” Logan yells. Man down is Tuesdayism that indicates something has fallen to the floor. The phrase could mean that anything from a small bowl to an entire dinner is now decorating the floor tiles. This time is sounds like something broke.
“You gonna do dishes, or ya just gonna walk around?” Reece, a cook, was scolding Charles, the salad bar guy. The trouble with being in the back is dealing with the cooks. They are sometimes nice and polite, but often they are the arch nemesis of all servers, and other workers. The cooks at Tuesday’s are about fifty-fifty, depending on the day. Well, it is time to stop loitering in the back before the cooks yell at me to do dishes.
I walk into the galley area, where drinks are prepared, and walk into Will talking to Felicia.
“…and so I had an erection for a full day instead of just half a day…” I do no even WANT to know what Will is talking about, because the explanation will probably cause my IQ to drop a couple of points, so I grab some glasses and walk to the front service station. At this station Dave is talking with the manager Kristin.
“I gave up drinking exactly two weeks ago, and smoking too. It is because I got so drunk that I passed out. The weird part was waking up the next morning. For some reason I hardly made it into my house. I apparently knocked down the front door at some point, because the door was lying on my living room floor, and I found myself curled up with my door frame.” David was finishing his story. I fill my drinks and head to my table. I wonder if the people in neighboring tables heard David’s story too. Weird.
I drop the drinks off at my tables, make rounds, and come back to the back server station. David is still there talking to Kristin.
“So I had to go to church to meet all of her family, but don’t worry, I am still as agnostic as before,” David says as he is filling a glass of Coke. Kristin does not seem to be worried about David’s faith at all, she just laughs. It is really hard to work around all of the chatting people sometimes.
In the front of the store once again Will is having a conversation. The only part of the speech that I catch is “It’s beautiful, like a zebra.”
In the back Joel has lost his pen. He says “My pants stole it, but I got it back.”
In the front of the store again I overhear “You wouldn’t need something like that to smack a man” coming from Kristin.
I have to walk around the restaurant multiple times per table, retrieving ketchup, refills, and food. Every place I go has some congregation of people just standing around swapping stories.
“Do you know what I would like to see more of? Men washing their hands after taking a piss.” This is from Will, once again, in the galley. This comment scares me a lot, and makes me stop and wonder.
Am I at work, or am I at a club?
***Authors Note: The names may or may not have been changed to protect the innocent****
