A Festivus for the Rest of Us

@Daniel
Side hustles chainsaw juggling at county fairs in a dirty old panda outfit.

@Kenny Sanchez
Stuffs his pants.

@Oroboros
Still Canadian. Attends Fury conventions.

@rico
MCs Fury conventions.

@ThatsNotMaple
Cries himself to sleep every night on a phallus shaped pillow.

@CanadianStan
Running Canadian prescription drugs across the border. Killing it with little blue pills in the Bible Belt.
 
@JD3000 secretly wishes he could grow hops and various distillery grains and give up this tree shit for good.

@rico secretly signs on to internet petitions to have California secede from the Union and become a Canadian province.

@Daniel secretly wants to quit the tree game and become a fashion designer for logging apparel.

@Tony secretly wants to move to Borneo and make playground equipment for orangutans.

@Burrapeg once killed a deadly cobra with a stick. Wants to try it with his new truck, which is an automatic.

@Tom Dunlap secretly longs for the days when it was legal to kill heretics and hecklers with a stone axe.

@CanadianStan is Canadian. 'Nuff said.

@Mark Chisholm secretly wants to sell TreeBuzz to SherrillTree and work on making Muppet movies, instead.

@Bucknut secretly wants to work for the Trump administration, but can't bring himself to stoop that low.

@TimBr secretly wants to dress like a homeless bag lady and get a job as a Walmart greeter.

@oldoakman has an underground bunker in his backyard, where he experiments with conversion therapy on grizzly bears.

@treebing is secretly working on a new version of the Rope Wrench that can pry Mitch McConnall's head out of his ass. It has no hope of working, and will never go into production.

@evo secretly wants to open a BDSM bar in Toronto and just get away from it all.

@RopeShield is secretly working on converting SAM launchers into a viable throwbag delivery system.
 
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JeffGu said:
@JD3000 secretly wishes he could grow hops and various distillery grains and give up this tree shit for good.

@rico secretly signs on to internet petitions to have California secede from the Union and become a Canadian province.

@Daniel secretly wants to quit the tree game and become a fashion designer for logging apparel.

@Tony secretly wants to move to Borneo and make playground equipment for orangutans.

@Burrapeg once killed a deadly cobra with a stick. Wants to try it with his new truck, which is an automatic.

@Tom Dunlap secretly longs for the days when it was legal to kill heretics and hecklers with a stone axe.

@CanadianStan is Canadian. 'Nuff said.

@Mark Chisholm secretly wants to sell TreeBuzz to a SherrillTree and work on making Muppet movies, instead.

@Bucknut secretly wants to work for the Trump administration, but can't bring himself to stoop that low.

@TimBr secretly wants to dress like a homeless bag lady and get a job as a Walmart greeter.

@oldoakman has an underground bunker in his backyard, where he experiments with conversion therapy on grizzly bears.

@treebing is secretly working on a new version of the Rope Wrench that can pry Mitch McConnall's head out of his ass. It has no hope of working, and will never go into production.

@evo secretly wants to open a BDSM bar in Toronto and just get away from it all.

@RopeShield is secretly working on converting SAM launchers into a viable throwbag delivery system.
Click to expand...
Can't I have both?
 
A guy that can't turn off his smartphone and use a real computer like normal people really needs to concentrate on what's important, and not stretch his limited powers to the limit.

So, no.
 
Hey... there's a madness to my method... you live in a treeless shithole, you don't have to work all the time to survive. You can spend more time letting the air out of tractor tires and tipping cows over. You can spend more time breeding livestock, supplementing your income and saving money by not needing high speed porn or inflatable dolls.

You just have to think outside that cardboard box you live in.
 
@JD3000 and @evo have turned in their Moral Majority membership cards, and joined the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence at their San Francisco convent. Praise cheeses. Pope Dementia The Last will present them with an award for their outstanding work with integrating firewood with battery powered sex toys, and their excellent animal husbandry skills. The mayor, London Breed, will present them with a Letter of Gratitude for their contributions of rare, Spanish Inquisition Era implements of restraint and torture, to be used in her efforts to upgrade San Francisco's jail complex. Refreshments will include isopropyl alcohol in fairly clean, used wine bottles and various pastry and baked good items made from some shit they bought at a bait shop near Fisherman's Wharf. Those wishing to participate should meet up on Pier 39, dressed in drag, for the shuttle bus to the secret, undisclosed location of the festivities.
 
@
JeffGu said:
@JD3000 and @evo have turned in their Moral Majority membership cards, and joined the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence at their San Francisco convent. Praise cheeses. Pope Dementia The Last will present them with an award for their outstanding work with integrating firewood with battery powered sex toys, and their excellent animal husbandry skills. The mayor, London Breed, will present them with a Letter of Gratitude for their contributions of rare, Spanish Inquisition Era implements of restraint and torture, to be used in her efforts to upgrade San Francisco's jail complex. Refreshments will include isopropyl alcohol in fairly clean, used wine bottles and various pastry and baked good items made from some shit they bought at a bait shop near Fisherman's Wharf. Those wishing to participate should meet up on Pier 39, dressed in drag, for the shuttle bus to the secret, undisclosed location of the festivities.
Click to expand...
@JeffGu sits on a tree and waits for it to grow
 
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