People on Edge

[Bart_]

Today I stopped at the grocery store, which I rarely frequent, but have used sporadically for 20 years. I was reminded of the special needs worker they hired for quite a few years now to shuttle shopping carts around the parking lot when he startled about 3 people in a row by blurting out in a loud voice at point blank range "excuse me sir the wheels on that cart are locked!" as they took a cart. A reminder of familiarity with that facility.

So I grab a few things, roll them out to the truck in a cart and offload. I could just squeeze the cart between my truck and a shiny $80,000 SUV so I decided not to risk backing it out or trying to turn it around and frontwards it out, I tucked it into the back corner of my spot and proceeded to leave slowly as it was busy. A guy appears at my window " excuse me is this your cart?" I signal its ok, go ahead and use it, I'm done with it. Then the guy launches into a tirade, calling me retarded etc. Comes by for a second round of verbal abuse. I leave slowly, a little voice in my head saying Don't engage this guy,, Danger Will Smith.

I thought it was a pretty small thing that set this guy off, considering there was a good for society hired guy whose life had meaning by finding carts to deal with.


What say you, capital crime or was this guy wound too tight? Feels a bit better to unload about an encounter like this.

 

[Matias]

I mean, I am definitely a proponent for taking the carts back, as the expense to the store of that guys job is inevitably baked into the cost of goods, but for anyone to go off on you like that over what amounts to a minor inconvenience to anyone who chooses to get involved in the situation.

In short, the dude's over reacting.

 

[ATH]

Do they have cart corrals? I take it to those unless the door of the store is only a little further away. Leaving them in the middle of the lot is asking to get it blown into somebody else's car. Having said that, yeah - he over reacted. I'm going into the store...I'll take a cart with me to prevent it from hitting somebody's car.

 

[Tom Dunlap]

Like icebergs, there is just a small portion of any 'story' that's visible. Too bad people think that they're getting the whole story and reacting. Who knows what that reaction might be?! Maybe just blowing off Karen/Ken steam...maybe an escalation.

Too many people in too little space.

 

[Matias]

Like icebergs, there is just a small portion of any 'story' that's visible. Too bad people think that they're getting the whole story and reacting. Who knows what that reaction might be?! Maybe just blowing off Karen/Ken steam...maybe an escalation.

Too many people in too little space.

Yea, that's one of the many reasons that I deal with the issues I have with people where I live. I'm lucky enough to have been able to find some space to not be up in the mix with too many people too close together. I do believe some people thrive in those situations, and more power to them. I wish everyone could have that choice to make without too much restriction.

 

[Dan Cobb]

I bet you go through the "10 items or less" lane with 12 items too. :^)

Reminds me of a story a former coworker told me. He lost both legs at the knees in a workplace accident. He's at the grocery store, heading inside from a handicapped parking spot, when a woman approaches him and says in a stern tone "You know, some people really need those spots." Rather than going off on her, he says "Lady, I don't know you, but I could hug your neck for thinking I walk well enough not to need that parking spot" as he pulled his pants legs up enough to show his artificial legs.

I'm a stickler for returning carts, but realize sometimes there's more than meets the eye.

 

[Reach]

I bet you go through the "10 items or less" lane with 12 items too. :^)

Reminds me of a story a former coworker told me. He lost both legs at the knees in a workplace accident. He's at the grocery store, heading inside from a handicapped parking spot, when a woman approaches him and says in a stern tone "You know, some people really need those spots." Rather than going off on her, he says "Lady, I don't know you, but I could hug your neck for thinking I walk well enough not to need that parking spot" as he pulled his pants legs up enough to show his artificial legs.

I'm a stickler for returning carts, but realize sometimes there's more than meets the eye.

There often is more too it than meets the eye. One of my best friends has fairly advanced muscular dystrophy. He has a handicap placard, but doesn’t use it because he can usually park close enough that he could walk. He still does walk a reasonable distance, as long as he goes slowly and doesn’t carry anything he’s OK.

He also travels a lot for work, and has to transport about 200 pounds of computer equipment everywhere he goes. He gets some looks and comments sometimes because he hast to pay a porter to move his baggage for him. He simply is not physically able to lift it, as much as he would like to.

From a quick glance he looks perfectly healthy, but if you were to look at him closer you would realize that one arm is noticeably smaller than the other, his lower legs have almost no muscle to them, and he wears supportive clothing because his abs are just about gone as well.

I feel bad because people to make comments about his “laziness” since his disability is not visibly apparent, and spending so much time with him has taught me to give people more credit than I might otherwise, as not everything is as it appears. And until his five (all adopted, all kids from drug addicted mothers!) kids are big enough to change his flat tires, I will keep doing it for him quite happily, no matter what time of the day he may call.

 

[Bart_]

I did a slow burn later, thinking what I coulda woulda said but the background thought was could this guy completely snap and I end up a news story?

I had an adjacent to customer experience once where I chose to sternly rebuke the inaccuracies the guy was saying, and he escalated. I was holding a knife from the task (sod) I was doing for the friend/customer and it was only half way through the guy's rant that I looked down (because eye contact aggravated the guy) and noticed the knife in my hand. It was both a thoughtful and crap your pants moment. Long story short, as the guy was on the verge of or did threaten to kill me, he ranted himself out and left. The homeowner asked me if I wanted to press charges and said he'd back me up having heard the whole exchange through an open window. I said no, I'm not that kind of guy. Turned out the ranter was an ex football player likely with case of football head (brain damage). Unemployed too. it was about three years of begging from the customers before I returned to their properties after I ascertained football head guy had moved away. I had seen him in between from varying distance and he looked weird. I was told he was on meds, marijuana etc to keep his anger under control. Word got around in the neighbourhood about the guy, probably why he moved. The one customer kept trying to coax me onto his property by telling me he had phoned the wife and gave her strict instructions she was to keep him inside the house. I never went those times. Ever since then the little voice says just remember, the guy might be crazy or distressed to the snapping point by unknown factors.

I used to tell that story more often when it was a more vivid memory. Time heals wounds.

I was conscientious in noticing the cart was very stiff to rolling anywhere as I parked it. I'm not a d___head

 

[Boomslang]

I used to think everyone is an asshole. I still do, but I used to too. Now I caveat it with not know what may be going on behind the scenes. And I'm not talking mental health, because we know everyone has mental health issues nowadays. But maybe this guy just got dumped, or fired, or his grandma died, or his wife is banging the stock boy, or he nicked his balls while manscaping, or he can no longer take a shit in peace because his little hellspawn keeps knocking on the bathroom going "all done dada?!", or, or, or. Who knows? People have bad days for all sorts of reasons and that can cause them to lash out over the tiniest things when in most cases they would just shoot a dirty look and mutter about you under their breath like any other sane person.

 

[Matias]

I used to think everyone is an asshole. I still do, but I used to too. Now I caveat it with not know what may be going on behind the scenes. And I'm not talking mental health, because we know everyone has mental health issues nowadays. But maybe this guy just got dumped, or fired, or his grandma died, or his wife is banging the stock boy, or he nicked his balls while manscaping, or he can no longer take a shit in peace because his little hellspawn keeps knocking on the bathroom going "all done dada?!", or, or, or. Who knows? People have bad days for all sorts of reasons and that can cause them to lash out over the tiniest things when in most cases they would just shoot a dirty look and mutter about you under their breath like any other sane person.

I've heard that meeting some assholes here and there is quite normal, and that if everyone you meet is an asshole, you may need to take a step back, as you might be the asshole.
I'm betting that's not you, Mitch, but food for thought

 

[Boomslang]

I've heard that meeting some assholes here and there is quite normal, and that if everyone you meet is an asshole, you may need to take a step back, as you might be the asshole.
I'm betting that's not you, Mitch, but food for thought

Well yea...if everyone is an asshole then by the very definition I too must be an asshole. It's simple semantics. Capeesh?

I'm just playing around though. I didn't think the tone of my post was that serious or that people took everything they see on the internet quite so literal.

I'm sure you're good people....ya asshole

 

[Matias]

Well yea...if everyone is an asshole then by the very definition I too must be an asshole. It's simple semantics. Capeesh?

I'm just playing around though. I didn't think the tone of my post was that serious or that people took everything they see on the internet quite so literal.

I'm sure you're good people....ya asshole

Text only makes it hard, but we're definitely cut from the same cloth, asshole

 

[RyanCafferky]

So many things in our society have pushed people to an edge and it certainly does seem like everyone has much shorter fuses these days.

Another thing to think about is that people are primates. We like lot of primates mimic what we see. Whether that is in other peoples behavior around us in general or in the person we are interacting with in the moment. Learning to avoid or diffuse situations like that are likely the best skills one can acquire. And learning to not let others work you up by making you mimic their emotional state: You stay balanced while they go into fear, rage, ect.

If the pandemic has taught me anything it is to ignore all media. There are no good news sources. All they do is sell fear and manipulate the population. That one thing has helped my mental health more than anything. If a populace is constantly at war with the “other” or terrified about this or that then they will ignore the fact that they are being financially screwed more and more by corporate greed posing as democracy. But a scared, financially strapped, and otherwise stressed populace also is prone to mental health crises like violent verbal outbursts and worse. We all can just hope we avoid these personally and stay away from folks in those crises as much as possible.

 

[Mick Dempsey]

I did à tree job for a guy once, told me he trained soldiers to use guns in various undeveloped (sub Saharan African mostly) countries. I had no reason to disbelieve him. Ex forces.

Anyway he said one of the the things he noticed about the men he trained was the way arguments escalated amongst them, a simple dispute could end up with life changing fights involving blades or worse.

The phrase he used was ‘poor conflict resolution skills’

Having good conflict resolution skills is a good thing.

 

[Tom Dunlap]

Karen and Ken live live's that are lacking. SInce they don't have enough loosing any of the little they have is abnormally threatening. Their back is to the wall and they fight everything.

L:iving a life of Plenty means that there is always more than needed so it isn't an issue of giving away or losing some isn't an issue.

 

[TreeCo]

I always keep my cool and never escalate a situation. I don't want trouble.

1) Try to talk yourself out of a situation.
2) Try to walk away from a situation.
3) Try to run away from a situation.
4 Last resort: face a situation head on.

I CC almost all of the time.

Always when driving:

 

[Mike Islander]

I wouldn't have left the cart. He overreacted. But again, I never leave a cart. It goes back into the store or in the parking lot bin.

 

[Serf Life]

I’ve been getting more road rage the past year, started after my friend died in a car accident. If someone drives aggressively around me I get super angry and occasionally react without my brain attached. Everyone’s got excuses but it rarely excuses them.

 

[Pinhead Squirrel]

I’ve been getting more road rage the past year, started after my friend died in a car accident. If someone drives aggressively around me I get super angry and occasionally react without my brain attached. Everyone’s got excuses but it rarely excuses them.

Learn from @TreeCo. You should CC in your car. .38 revolver is a very good choice in close range .

 

[Pinhead Squirrel]

Respect to this man .

Who had a true courage to faced the real situations head on .