Jokes? Clean Jokes?

[trees4life]

A man owned a small tree service in Oregon. The Department of Consumer & Employment Protection heard that he was not paying proper wages to his employees and sent an agent down to interview him.



'I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,' demanded the agent.

'Well,' replied the tree guy, 'there's my ground guy who's been with me for 3 years.

I pay him $400 a week plus free room and board.



The climber has been here for 18 months, and I pay him $450 per week plus free room and board.



Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $50 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also gets to sleep with my wife occasionally.'



'That's the guy I want to talk to, the half-wit,' says the agent.



'That would be me,' replied the tree guy.

 

[Treekwando]

Not quite clean, but funny.

 

[Babberney]

Gotta trot these out now and then . . .

Why did the Oak Man cross the road?




He saw a gear store on the other side.

Why did the Euc Man cross the road?




To top the tree he'd just felled.

 

[Rocks_and_Trees]

A rope walks into a bar, and the bartender says,

"Get outta here, we don't serve ropes here."

So the rope walks outside, ties himself up, undoes one end of himself, and then walks back inside and orders a drink.

The bartender says, "Hey, aren't you that rope that I just kicked outta here?"

The rope replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot"