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His saw is behind the branch, but he doesn't need it anymore. He wants to come down. He was climbing a London planetree; a hard savage brute of a specimen. He looks like he took a bad tumble early on and lost most of his protective gear. He is confused now, and disoriented, and probably in need of help. Some of his teeth may have been broken in the fall . . . and he is bleeding inside.
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I agree I should have seen it as well, but I have bit different take. It reminds me of a story. . . .
(disclaimer: 1) I am half way through a rather tasty 22oz home brew. 2) The last time I wrote anything this week is was a struggle with a trade magazine article that was not going in the proper direction. 3) This may be lengthy and require a unique sense of humor)
The first mistake was using the throw bag. South Florida was not my stomping ground. I didn't know mangrove fed on the little pouches of shot wrapped in rubber, covered with orange fabric. Prime Ape may have hinted at it, but either he needed a laugh or I ignored him. Either way the errant toss hopelessly ensnared my throw bag. Repetitive yanking and sustained cursing broke the string.
It would have been O.K. except for the alligator. Perhaps he thought it was a engorged bug. Perhaps the melody of my profanity aroused his appetite. Who knows
If I had just chalked it up to bad luck and got out my spare, the second mistake would never have happened. My only excuse was that I was spurned on by "The most interesting tree climber in the world" thread. I think, in that moment, I actually believed some of the claims were possible. Also it was my lucky throw bag.
I went into the water head first. To his credit Prime Ape tried to stop me. His big harry arms waved and his voice bellowed. It could have been laughter as well. He was doing a lot of laughing. I wasn't sure I didn't care.
The gator was slow to react but quick to respond to my dive. He came at me with a reptile gleam in his beady eyes. As he opened his mouth, I caught a glimpse of my throw bag, but I had to forget about that for a second or two. I extended my right arm past the slimy orange bag and all the way down the gator's throat, through his belly and right down to his tail.
I grasped the tip from the inside and gave a mighty heave back toward my head. With a "fat-kid-sucking-down-the-last-of-his-sugary-slushy" noise the gator turned inside out.
I caught my throw bag with my left hand and scurried out of the water beating back the other gators that had gathered with the inside out one. On shore I heaved it back to the throngs.
Other than the slight zephyr that drifted by and the gorging alligators hardly a noise could be heard. I tied my bag to the broken end of my throw line. Prime ape just smiled. Ask him he'll tell you it's all true.
All of which brings me back to the climber in question. I believe that during his climbing struggle he fell so hard and recovered so fast all his connecting links turned topsy-turvy and conjoined in one long chain on his climbing line.
I am kinda surprised no one else noticed it.
ANSI = Alligators Never Survive Inside-out
Tony
