Life in the temperate zone...

Discussion in 'Rant and Rave' started by JeffGu, Nov 21, 2015.

  1. JeffGu

    JeffGu Well-Known Member

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    Making all those pipe bombs and buying postage stamps will take your mind off the misery of living in Ohio. Good plan.
     
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  2. JD3000

    JD3000 Well-Known Member

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    Maybe I'll write the great American novel...you mean old husker.
    Call it Love in the Time of the Orangatan
     
  3. JeffGu

    JeffGu Well-Known Member

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    Umm... when exactly is/was the time of the orangutan? I mean, was it just the one time, or a bunch of times? Is there a YouTube video of the incident?
     
  4. JD3000

    JD3000 Well-Known Member

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    Who am I kidding...any novel I write would just degenerate to Scrooge McDuck leading an armada of coked-up cyborg tiger sharks attacking Tokyo or something...movie rights may be the key there. Especially if we have a scene with teenage Tokyo school girls with Hello Kitty backpacks fleeing the robo sharks with blood lust in their metallic eyes...I think I've struck gold! Kubrick eat your heart out
     
  5. JeffGu

    JeffGu Well-Known Member

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    Poor Stanley. Put out of work by a guy who names alien species after various fungi and manages to insert scantily clad Japanese schoolgirls into every other scene.

    Here's another great idea from firearms makers...

    hello-kitty-pistol.jpg

    Because we all know that Hello Kitty semi-auto handguns are easily distinguished from toys by the kiddies.
     
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  6. JD3000

    JD3000 Well-Known Member

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  7. JD3000

    JD3000 Well-Known Member

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  8. JeffGu

    JeffGu Well-Known Member

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    Yeah... there doesn't seem to be anything they won't throw some Hello Kitty marketing into...

    hello-kitty-buttplug.jpg
     
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  9. JD3000

    JD3000 Well-Known Member

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    We're really suffering from Mommy is Out of Town Syndrome here. In other words, life is great for the 3 boys today!
     
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  10. Jeff

    Jeff Well-Known Member

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    Burn the house down yet with the Indoor Holiday Fireworks Spectacular?
     
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  11. JD3000

    JD3000 Well-Known Member

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    No...been more like turning yard work into a fun game...run them hard at the park and then hot dogs and Doritos for dinner kinda day.

    " Dad can I..."
    "Yep."

    "Dad can we..."
    "Yep."

    "Dad..."
    "Yep."

    Alright, bed time. Dad has a game to watch...

    And the beer flowed like wine.
     
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  12. TimBr

    TimBr Well-Known Member

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    @JD3000; What a great dad! Your kids will love you forever.
     
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  13. JD3000

    JD3000 Well-Known Member

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    No but there was almost a tricycle down the stairs incident...

    "Jack, where are you going with that?

    "Upstairs Daddy!"

    "Uhm...no. How bout we go outside again?"
     
  14. JeffGu

    JeffGu Well-Known Member

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    Hopefully, one of those things he agreed to let them do wasn't using the soil injection equipment to give the dog an enema.

    I once made the grievous mistake of showing my boys how to make a flamethrower using a can of cheap hairspray from the dollar store and a butane lighter. The next day, they managed to burn down a sizeable section of scrub and brush along a local creek. Luckily, they had the fire out by the time the fire department arrived. They avoided any serious consequences when the police hauled them and their friends down to the police station, leaving their bicycles (four of them) along the creek. Of course, all the bicycles were stolen. I went down and asked what part of the whole incident required abandoning the bikes and costing myself and the other parents the money to replace them? Wasn't room for them in the trunks of the cop cars or the back of the paddy wagon? They got off with just having to write a paper about why you shouldn't burn up the creek bed, risking Smokey The Bear's life and polluting a creek that the sewage plant dumps into.

    Live and learn.
     
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  15. JD3000

    JD3000 Well-Known Member

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    No but they did have fun smashing old pumpkins and fallen apples into the veggie garden. Throwing some of said apples at the neighbor's cat may have also happened while I had my back turned.

    Now wondering what affect pressurized humic substances, mycorrhizal fungi, Bascillus subtillus and others in the same genus would have on a poor unsuspecting mammal's colon? Not good I suspect
     
  16. evo

    evo Well-Known Member

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    you on to something.. Fungal/probiotic colonics
     
  17. JD3000

    JD3000 Well-Known Member

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    Yeah but how do you get the pumpkin in there?
     
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  18. JeffGu

    JeffGu Well-Known Member

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    Run it through the blender?

    Hydraulic ram for a packer? (would need to add sand)

    Ok, add Sorano or Thai peppers, too.
     
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  19. evo

    evo Well-Known Member

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  20. JD3000

    JD3000 Well-Known Member

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    I want more boutique than niche. This isnt just for any hipster D-bag.
     
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