Guilty Pleasures

evo

Well-Known Member

Workin for one of these perm dudes on Thursday. Hate to admit that I’ve always liked this song.
 

JeffGu

Well-Known Member
...and Blind Melon...
I confess to having that album. Seems like, however, that if I do buy music the artists will immediately die a tragic and/or horrible death within a week, or the band will break up and sue each other.
 

cerviarborist

Very stable member
This dialogue took place yesterday on a worksite where I was collecting field data to prepare a mitigation plan to offset construction/demolition damage to a protected tree on the site with an active osprey nest in it.

(Demolition contractor-the guy who just bulldozed roots of the protected tree, while gesturing at my penetrometer, dripping with sarcasm): "Maybe I should buy one to carry around so I’ll look smarter.”

Me: “Buy two.”
 

evo

Well-Known Member
This dialogue took place yesterday on a worksite where I was collecting field data to prepare a mitigation plan to offset construction/demolition damage to a protected tree on the site with an active osprey nest in it.

(Demolition contractor-the guy who just bulldozed roots of the protected tree, while gesturing at my penetrometer, dripping with sarcasm): "Maybe I should buy one to carry around so I’ll look smarter.”

Me: “Buy two.”
“No matter how far I shoved this up your ... I still wouldn’t hit your brains”
 

Bango Skank

Well-Known Member
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JeffGu

Well-Known Member
I like to save big money at Menards. I immediately cut all the tags off of a new mattress. I like to randomly pick out a carbonated beverage at the Stop 'N Rob and shake the hell out of it and set it back in the cooler. I once drank a light beer, and liked it. I have an outdoor cat that follows me around, meowing constantly and jumping up on things trying to get me to pick him up.... and I haven't twisted his furry little head off. I will occassionally eat a peanut butter and banana sandwich. I like to park in the loading zone spots and then go in and shop for three hours. If the UPS guy just throws my shit up on the porch, I wait until he's halfway back to his truck, then I sic the dog on him. Sometimes I let 40 lbs. of crap pile up in my Post Office box, and wait 3 weeks before I go in and get it, and there will be three keys in there because there was so much stuff they had to put it in those lockers. I like to put a little baby powder in the envelopes when I pay the bills, so they think I sent them some weapons grade anthrax. I like to mix some powdered iron in with wax and make candles shaped like a gun, then slip them into people's carry-on luggage at the airport. I voted for Hillary. I ordered a headstone shaped like a urinal, just to save people some trouble when they go to the cemetary to piss on my grave. I once shot a man for putting those big, nasty, red kidney beans in something he was trying to pass off as chili. If I see somebody passed out at a party, I like to tie their shoelaces to the legs of the chair before I leave.

I can't really tell you the bad stuff, because then I'd have to kill you.
 

Burrapeg

Well-Known Member
Uhmmmmm...I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If you have a neighbor with a dog that barks constantly, you can throw the dog a big, thick peanut butter sandwich to shut it up. Hilarious to watch it try to bark afterwards.
 
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